I know you're scared, but you HAVE to get some help. Like your title says, you're in crisis mode. You cannot keep going, when you're trying to harm yourself.
If you don't get help, hon, you'll likely lose your job anyway. Depression, when it's affecting our daily lives, takes many things from us. MANY people lose their jobs as a result of untreated, unmanaged depression. You'd be surprised how understanding an employer can be. You should call and explain the situation, ask for a leave of absence, so you can address these issues.
Go back to the hospital, and ask for help. Nothing changes if nothing changes. You don't HAVE to feel like this, but you DO have to try to help yourself. You can't sit around and continue to feel bad, yet not take action to try to fix it.
PLEASE, go back to the hospital, and start reclaiming your life. Please update us when you can.
I don't know, I'm scared, all my family are up north. I'm scared to go to a pycsh ward, which is why I ran away. now, I think the friends that were there for me, are really angry and hate me.
I've just bought some coke, I know it's wrong, I'm acting crazy, I have friends round and they are looking at me weird. if I go the hospital will they keep me in? I don't wanna stay x
No one wants to stay, but it really would be in your best interest. It wouldn't be forever, hon. You have to look at it as a good thing...to get some help, so you can be at peace. Most likely, if you go in, and are reasonable, you basically would agree to the admission, so it wouldn't be against your will.
You're on a path of self destruction...you need help, hon. Coke will make you feel 100% worse, not to mention, it's very dangerous. Please just do it. You'll be surprised, it's not really anything to be scared of...they will help you by giving you medications and therapy. You probaly would only be IN a hospital for a few days, maybe a week. Then, you would transition to outpatient care.
You can do it!
the police took me back to the hospital, but I was waiting for so long to see someone that by the time I saw the doctor I just wanted to go home. they asked me if I wanted to wait to see someone but I couldn't be bothered and they let me go. they told me to go my doctors to get referred. I really think I have something wrong with me, but when faced with a doctor I just can't seem to say anything. I think maybe I have bipolar or a personality disorder, will they make me go hospital? I know I need help tho