Avatar universal

is it depression or stress?

Im 19 and have a long list of mental health issues since i was a toddler...  I work 4 days a week in a riding school yard surrounded by over 40 horses a day which i love love love, things for the past few weeks mentally have been quiet good for me but for the last 2/3 weeks ive noticed im starting to slip a good bit...
My memory has gotten very bad , i cant remember big things like if i rode any horses on a certain day or not , i cant remember what i did an hour ago or even a day ago and thats not like me. ive found it very hard to concrete and especially remember things..  my mood has dropped alot too. ( no trigger for this what so ever) Ive been lacking my usual energy , i feel very faint and dizzy alot of the time too , to the point where ill have to sit down or ill pass out.  Ive been extremely overwhelmed by the smallest of things that id never be overwhelmed by.  Ive also been very over emotional too , i was crying my eyes out one day last week in work for no reason at all. ive also been getti g fleeting thoughts of self harm and suicide . ive felt worthless and like i just let everyone down , that im not doing a good enough job at anything.  i made a small little mistake last week and i felt awful i stayed outside in the lashing rain ( i had no hood either on my jacket ) and i kept repeating to myself “ i deserve this i deserve to be punished”  i do tend to go through these “episodes” but itnworries me as i dont understand what this is and why it’s happening. this comes out of the blue
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The thing about being diagnosed with depression is that it's not something they are going to pick up with a diagnostic physical test.  Your words and the way you answer things clues them in. Some doctors screen for it and others don't.  Good ones screen for it!  That's unfortunate that your doctor (s) haven't picked up on it.  

Your symptoms definitely can be mentally health related. But you want to make sure you fit the criteria.  People can also get periods of the blues or what could be called a funk.

How is your rest? Sleeping okay? Dehydration also causes these types of symptoms. So, you want to make sure you are eating right, sleeping well and staying hydrated.  

If you have been to a doctor, what have they said is the cause for how you are feeling if they didn't mention depression (and remember, you are an advocate for yourself, you also need to tell them that you wonder about it).

There does not have to be a trigger for depression.  
Helpful - 0
Doctors don't really study emotional illness all that much, and if you don't go to them saying that's your problem they won't really focus on it.  Psychologists study the most psychology of all professionals out there, so if you want a diagnosis, go see one.  Psychiatrists are the docs who specialize in mental illness.  A general practitioner might diagnose something and even prescribe something for it, but they aren't the specialists -- it's like getting surgery from a general practitioner, it's just not something they do often enough to get really good at.  They do study it some, but just not enough.  But when you mention suicidal thoughts, well, that just screams depression, so that's why I mentioned it, not to mention you're posting on a depression forum.  You don't have to be a specialist to see that.
to the poster, you can always talk to your doctor.  Today's doctors are pretty well versed in discussion depression and typically general doctors do a fine job of initial diagnosis and treatment.  I would not be afraid of that aspect and most insurance companies require you to start with your GP and then you are referred.  So, keep that in mind.  And we advocate for ourselves by bringing something up.  We wish you the best here and hope you can determine if you are really depressed or not.  They do have some online tools that you can use that basically are very similar to the questionnaire that you receive at the doctors (gp or psychiatrist) that goes through to find if you meet the criteria of depression.  Maybe that would be helpful for you.  https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-diagnosis-tests

The goal is to feel better safely!  Hope you get there soon!!
Avatar universal
Depression just is, for those of us who suffer from it.  It really has no rhyme or reason to it, as you can take many people and expose them to the same situation and only depressed people will react to it with depression.  It is an illness, something wrong in our thinking with no known biological cause at this point in time.  When it's episodic, as it appears in your case, there can be triggers -- what you're calling stress -- but others have the same things going on and don't get the same emotional response.  Are you doing anything to try to fix this problem, such as therapy?  As for the other feelings, I"d get a check-up with your doctor.  Getting faint and dizzy can be anxiety symptoms, but they can also be a sign of nutritional deficiencies, eating disorders, thyroid problems, etc.  Best to get checked out before self-diagnosing this part of it as part of your depression.  
Helpful - 0
funny thing is ive been thru so many doctors and not once have i been diagnosed with depression. was with my gp today , tomd her it all and got nothing back in terms of whats going on with me
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