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Depression Community
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Avatar universal

just need to talk to someone.

Things are building up and it is so hard to get through each day.  i think i will see if the doctor will put me in the hospital and find out exactly what is wrong.  i am so tired of feeling bad and these head aches are no picnic.  im afraid to go to the hospital they may not let me come home.  maybe i better think this out some more.  im to weak  to even throw a tv in the micro wave.  usually eat peanut butter and crackers or a balogna sandwich with cheese.  but it is getting harder to force it down.  i guess we are not going to have christmas it is suppose to be raining turning in to sleet one weather said it might snow.  and it is a long way to houston and all the gifts would get wet. some days i sleep all day and all night with out waking up.  i dont want to die.  i just want to be happy.  I hope all of you are doing good.  i tried to write to you a private letter but it said it was blocked.  dint know what im doing wrong.  mym niece let the deserted cat in tonight when she got home from walmarts.  he did not want to leave he is asleep in her chair,  he is so sweet but he bites some times.  that is enough.  i love you im scared.  m andy876
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Avatar universal
I started a research study last year. we are sure i was on the placebo cause i felt no change. But after that study, they let me be in a long term study on the real med. It is a stimulant simular to Ritalin. It helped me 110%. I was so happy all summer. I kept very busy starting starting a vegetable garden. And felt very positive. For some reason, when summer was ending and weather got colder, i was a little more depressed. I just loved being outside everyday. The doctor thinks it is normal ups and downs. I probably would be much worse if i was not on the med cause of the holiday. I am happy to be home alone. Socializing makes me very uncomfortable now. Ik never was a big talker but liked being around groups of people. I was also started on meloxicam for achiness and low back pain. It took all my pain away. That is still worki ng unless i do too much heavy lifting or lay on the couch too much. I felt loike you, that i could not handle anything else to go wrong in ky life. Don't know if iam really ADHD. They did not test for it when i was young.
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