Is there somewhere else you can go to calm down? Sometimes we need to just break away and get some alone time when things seem so rough. You need to be alone with your thoughts, you cannot do that because there is everything you do not like going around you. Tell her not to touch your stuff, not in a harsh way but tell her its yours and that you like it. If she starts arguing ignore her, misery likes company. You love your grandson and he loves you, let him entertain you, kids have a way of doing so.
*sigh* Has anyone smiled at you today? If not let me be the first. I am smiling at you though you can't see me and I am telling you that you deserve to live as long as God allows it my dear. Death solves nothing, its life that matters. Sorry you are feeling so down, do something you enjoy doing but haven't done so in awhile.
I'm glad you decided to come here and vent. Mental illness is a real problem for so many including me. No one would be better off if you were dead. I don't blame you for feeling mixed up and afraid its easy to do. If you are feeling like there is no hope please call this number 1-800-273-8255. The people on the other end will help you. With mental illness sometimes you need someone right away and they can do that for you. In the long term you may need a therapist I don't know if you see one now. But just for now you can come here and vent and give those good people a call. God Bless.