Maybe it would be helpfull for you to get some counselling for you to work through this and come to a descision of what you want to do.
It's hard to give any kind of diagnosis without knowing exactly what your husband is doing, but I've never heard of controlling behaviour being part of bipolar disorder. Bipolar is about periods of elevated mood (rage and euphoria) and depressed mood (both of which must be present for a diagnosis) whereas controlling behaviour is more of a stable, non-mood-related thing. I think lilymoon's suggestion is best. A counsellor should be able to provide a safe, fair environment where you both can work out what has gone wrong and what can be done. Also they should be able to refer either of you to psychological treatment should they think it necessary.
Meanwhile you should probably consider seeing a counsellor by yourself to help you deal with any depression and anxiety you might have. Marriage counsellors are more about sorting out the marital problems but usually don't provide good coping mechanisms for your own personal symptoms arising from those problems. It might be good to have both.