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Avatar universal

old age and fear of death

i am a 67 year old man from india.I  read a lot about the old age and  i personally feel i know fully about the old age  and i whole heartedly invite the old  age. I am a philosopher .yet at times i will be a little depressed on geting the thought of death in the old age. it is certainly true that birth and death are existed side by side.' Jaathasya maranam dhruvam'. that means birth itself confirm the death .No one in this world can overcome this. but why do people fear about the death.Please advise me how to over come this fear of death and live happily.
12 Responses
433485 tn?1321816990
Hi.  Interesting to hear you are a philosopher.  I have a degree in Psychology but am a teacher instead.  I am 52 but also think about death as I have had so many losses in my life, including my 19 year old son in 1997,  I have done a lot of reading about the afterlife.  What helps me is my faith.  I am a Christian and believe that we will be reuinited with our loved ones, after this life.  In the US, I think we are more afraid of death than any Eastern countries.  I took several World religions classes in college, including one on Death and Dying.  I would recommend books by Elizabeth Kubler Ross.  She passed on , but did a lot of work with people who were dying as well as their loved ones.  I hope this helps.  Sue
Avatar universal
Hi,  I have suffered many losses in my family, to include a son, and just recently my 18 year old grandson.  I used to fear death, but one thing I've learned from other parents who have lost a child, they no longer fear death, nor do I. Our children should never leave this earth before us.  But I think it is the unknown that we fear. What does intrigue me is people who do believe in heaven, an after life, seem to fear death as well.  Why would this be?  I would think it would be viewed as a wonderful ending to their life. I have seen children (my son and grandson) for whom this earth was truly hell, and the for them to have endured what they did, only to die, does make one wonder what it is all about.  For you, I think you need to realize how truly blessed you are to have lived this long (I'm 59), and all the fear and worrying about death is not going to change that we all will eventually die.  Your fear is distracting you from truly living life.  You've been given a gift of life that many have not.  Some things we cannot change, and must accept, and this is one.  Other things we can change.  So, why worry about what you have no control over? People who are dying have a peace about them, and there has to be a reason for this.  So, to sum it up, I think none of us are sure what to expect, so the unknown becomes fearful for us, and what happens when we die is still not quite clear.  But please enjoy your life, don't let worry carry it away, what a waste this is.  Do things you enjoy, get out among people, live your life!
897400 tn?1303332748
It was the loss of my son that made me question life and death and the things I was taught as a nominal Christian growing up.

I have come to the conclusion that death is un-natural and that is why we fear it. When Adam and Eve were created they were given the choice of obedience and life, or disobedience ( eating of the Tree of Knowledge ) and death. They were given no promise of being transported to heaven  as a reward or the threat of eternal torment as punishment. There are numerous references in the Bible to death being done away with eventually, as part of the solution to all of mans ills and death is referred to as an enemy in 1 Corinthians. So this is my thinking on why we fear death.
Avatar universal
I think the loss of a child does this to one.  It started me questioning a lot. I know that 97% of scientists do not believe in a God.  All the drawings from thousands of years ago, all over the world reference "God" as coming down in a firey chariot.  They have found drawings of men in space suits very similar to todays, a map of land that was not discovered until thousands of years after the date on the map.  There is no technology to explain the great pyramids, and other buildings, built so precisely that not even a razor blade fits between the stones.  Yet these were supposed to have been created with very primative tools. Everyone is questioning all this a lot.  We want to think that somebody bigger and powerful has control over our lives, when it just may be us, or we may be castoffs from another society.  There are landing strips which were formed thousands of years ago, which can only be seen from the air.  So many questions.  The Bible is an "interpretation" of what someone thought they were hearing, and we know how that is.  I cringe every time I hear that God gave his only son for our sins.  Who would put their child thru this type of pain and suffering.  I had this discussion with a pastor who responded "Oh, but God knew he was coming back!"  I said "oh, so this was just some sick joke on all of us?"  He had no response.  Who was it God told to take his little boy to the mountain and thrust a knife into his chest to prove his love and faith in him, only at the last minute say "ha, I'm just kidding."  Theologians everywhere are questioning a lot about the Bible, and there are numerous discrepancies.  Sorry, I truly did not want to go on like this, I respect all of you, and your religious beliefs.  My husband always says "if you look around the world, at all the religions, and their beliefs, we're all going to go to someone's hell."
Avatar universal
I wouldn't say that fear of death is universal in all people.
I actually find myself jelous of elderly people because they made it and I haven't yet.

I often wish I were old so I could be closer to death knowing that I had lived my life.
Avatar universal
I thank you so much for having given the valuable advise. i totally agree with you . thank you  so much once again
Avatar universal
You're very welcome.
897400 tn?1303332748
I  do not believe in immortality of the "soul". Death to me equals non-existence. So Mammo...if ur going to my "hell" (the grave), I'll either be there already or will follow shortly. : )  I don't believe in eternal torment, that would be the ultimate injustice.
As to your reference to Nazca lines...I've always found them fascinating. Pyramids too. Sometimes I think we don't give ancients credit for the intellligence and ingenuity they posessed.

The thought of death sometimes gives me a pang, but it's more a twinge at the fear of not having lived a satisfying life. Or the grief it will cause my  children. Most of the time I think of it as an end to the misery.  One of my friends (an athiest )  asserts that all religion was spawned by a fear of death.
Avatar universal
I find your ideas interesting, and share the worry of my children when I die.  But except for my children and grandchildren, earth has been "hell", and I can't believe anything could be worse.  This comes after many, many losses, getting very involved in church with having more questions than answers.  Your friend's idea is fascinating!  One thing I've learned is that people seem to need or want to think that there is a heaven, a better life waiting for us, and that we will all be united with loved ones, yet they all fear death?  I would think it would be a welcomed end to the life we have on earth?  I know people who when things go the way they want, it's God's workings, if not, then it's Satan's.  When do we take responsibility for our own actions?  I just find it all interesting and enjoy talking to others about this topic.  Don't want to argue with anyone, debate yes, but I do believe in "live and let live" and do not judge others for what or how they believe.  But hearing different ideas, being open minded, makes for great conversation, and maybe learning something along the way.
897400 tn?1303332748
I have feelings similar to yours about this life. I've suffered abuse from childhood on and often feel that death would be a relief. Too bad I won't be around to feel it. when it happens. : )

I try to live with a balanced attitude about God and personal responsibility. I believe in God,and that Satan exists, but I also believe that we are largely responsible for how our lives turn out. We are free agents and there are natural consequences to all choices and actions. We should ideally live in a conscientious way, (hopefully having a well trained conscience) and respect other people. I like to think that my beliefs are founded on carefully acquired knowledge and sound reasoning, but I don't think badly of anyone just because they may not agree with me. It's nice to be able to have a discussion and hear what others think!
Avatar universal
Like you, I respect others in what they believe, and enjoy discussing the issues of religion. So much doesn't add up, or make sense to me.  For example, and this may be my stupidity.... wasn't Joseph and Mary married?  If so, why would she have been a virgin?  I sometimes wonder if this was the first case of out of wedlock pregnancy, so it had to be a miracle.  I wonder why there is nothing written of Jesus growing up.  Also, this thing about being reunited with loved ones in heaven.  Because of my childhood abuse, there are family members I never want to see again.  I asked our Senior Pastor this question, and he said "well, you won't remember any of this."  I said "Okay, then how will I know that this is someone I loved on earth, if I have no memory?"  He couldn't answer my question.  The idea that we will all live peacefully, in harmony together means no emotions or feelings, and especially memories.  I keep thinking of the movie "The God's Must Be Crazy" where in modern day society, a man is flying a small Cessna over a remote area only inhabited by a tribe that had never seem a modern day man, or anything else outside of their island.  The pilot is drinking a bottle of soda, and throws the empty bottle out the window.  A native sees the bottle fall from "heaven" and it becomes something to worship!  Oh, well, just a few things I think about.  I want to believe, I truly do, and hopefully will get past this.
897400 tn?1303332748
OMG you made me laugh! I loved that movie!

Your questions about heaven, recognition, and emotions are all things I used to wonder about too. It just didn't make sense to me. And like you, I didn't want to see my abuser in heaven!

Mary and Joseph were engaged when she became pregnant by Holy Spirit,  and  the marriage wasn't consumated until after his birth. So technically Mary was a virgin at Jesus' birth, even tho' later she and Joseph had other children. - Mark 3:31-35

There is an account of Jesus at 12 years old going into the Synagogue and questioning the religious leaders. He gets in a little trouble with his family because he got so absorbed in what he was doing that he was left behind as his family was leaving Jerusalem to return home after Passover.-  Luke 2:41-52    And not even a teenager yet! LOL

I totally rejected organized religion for years because of the hypocracy I saw. I had valid questions as a child and when my Dad couldn't answer them I wanted to ask the Pastor. I was told, "don't bother the Pastor, he's busy".  A doctrine that is indefensible is of no benefit to anyone. We were created with the power of reason and where best to apply it than in worship of the one who gave it to us?

What I know now comforts me in spite of loosing my son and my Mom.  My Mom committed suicide and I know she's not burning in hell for it. I really don't WANT to die, but I'm not morbidly afraid of it either. I was terrified of it as a child and a little obsessed about it for a while.
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