Aone

[ufcfan]

I decide to write this poem when I was down at a low point a couple of weeks ago. Please let me know if this poem relates to anyone else.  
                              ALONE
IT HURTS THE MOST WHEN I SEE THERE'S NO MISSED CALLS ON MY PHONE
THOSE ARE THE TIMES I REALZE I'M TRULY ALL ALONE
WHEN I SEE PEOPLE ALL AROUND SO HAPPY AND CONTENT
THEY GET A JOB PAY THE BILLS OR EVEN MAKE THE RENT
THEY CAN ENJOY SO MANY THINGS THAT I HAVE SELDOM KNOWN
AND EVERY TIME I THINK OF THAT I FEEL SO DAMN ALONE
I AM JUST SO INADEQUATE AND HORRIBLY DEPRESSED
I AM SO TIRED ALL THE TIME AND YET I CANNOT REST
THESE PROBLEMS THAT I DEAL WITH ARE MINE ONLY TO ATONE
AND SO HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL CONTINUE ALL ALONE
I'LL NEVER KNOW HOW GREAT IT FEELS TO HAVE A FAMILY
NO PEOPLE WAITING AT MY HOUSE SO HAPPY TO SEE ME
THOSE ARE THE THOUGHTS THAT HURT THE MOST AND CUT ME TO THE BONE
BECAUSE I KNOW THAT IN THE END I'LL PROBABLY DIE ALONE
THERE WAS THAT TIME THAT I CAME CLOSE THAT TIME I HAD WITH JESS
WHY ON EARTH WAS SHE WITH ME I'M SCARED TO EVEN GUESS
I TRULY LOVED HER AND HER SON AND REALLY HOPE THAT'S KNOWN
CAUSE THANKS TO THEM FOR JUST A BIT I DIDN'T FEEL SO ALONE


                                                                                                                                

[ufcfan]

Got to know, Rampage or Rashad? I'll put it to you this way, if rampage looses then I'll fall back into a real bad depression. Just kidding! But I am rooting for Rampage. Go A-Team!

[mammo]

Oh, there are a lot of us out here!  Tapping out........

[ufcfan]

Thanks! It's great to hear that there's another UFC fan out there. My friend and I haven't missed a fight in over 2 years.

[mammo]

You just stay the course and get better!  Hey, I'm a UFC fan as well!

[ufcfan]

Thank you for your support. I'm currently in treatment and am starting feel a little better. Loneliness is still the one thing that brings me down the most and I know that I do have people that care but you're right, sometimes I feel that way anyway. Thanks again for you kind words and I  hope that I can return the favor some day.

[mammo]

I think a lot of us can relate to this.  I hope you know that you are not alone, you have us and we are always here to listen, talk or offer support.  But I do understand where you're coming from, as at times it appears we struggle alone.  But I have learned that behind the smiles, and what appears to be happiness can be a sad, and lonely person.  You can be surrounded with family and friends and still feel alone. We never know what's truly going on in another person's life, and most have struggles of their own.  It's best to concentrate on you, and getting your life back, and not comparing yourself to others.  It sounds like you are missing two people who were very special to you, I'm sure you touched them as well, if only for awhile.  If you haven't sought treatment for your depression, please do.  You can have all that you crave, you can't change the past but you can mold your future.  Stay with us as others offer support and take care.