your just shy...my sister was shy she only opened up to those who are close to her. and stop listening to sad music..watch some funny movies..laugh more instead of being down..be proud your bueatiful and deserve it..feel up ok...
You sound like a wonderful person who actually does have self-esteem! You recognize your good qualities, and that's awesome. At the same time, you sound like a very sensitive person who cares about others, including how they feel about you. Maybe a little too much? But that's okay! You're only 18, you've got lots of time to learn and grow and figure out how to deal with being around people. By asking these questions, I can tell you're the kind of person who really is working on growing, developing, and finding out who you are.
Would it surprise you to know that almost EVERYBODY feels insecure and worries about what people think about them? It's true, and that INCLUDES the people who seem totally confident.
It's okay to be sensitive, scared or shy - and other times outgoing and social!
And it's SO okay to ask for help when you're worried - like posting your question.
Keep on being the special, unique person you are - and keep changing and growing!