sick and tired

[mandy876]

I am so tired of everything.  why should I keep being here if I am not loved are cared about I thought that was what life was about.  why cant god just take me?  why should I go to the doctor the problems around here will never end things will pile up on top of each other.  just like her knowing we had a water leak but did not bother to tell me.  cost me about 70.00.  I don't have to throw away.  now her daughter wants me to pay for her insurance  I am not.  the car was a new kia 2007  she has got it trimmed in pink and goes to kia get togethers or did until she had her last baby.  she has worn it out.  we could not get much for it,  tammy has the truck we bought 2008 mitsubitchi raider pickup..  we use it together.  this is making me sick.  I am going to take a pain pill and hope it puts me to sleep.  mandy876

[Emily_MHManager]

Hi everyone -

In an effort to simplify, if you'd like to offer Mandy some support, please respond to her in this thread -

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Depression/need-help/show/1958466

This thread is now closed.

Thanks for understanding.

Emily

                *************  CLOSED THREAD  ****************
                           NO MORE POSTS, PLEASE

[mandy876]

i knew some people who thought going to church that make things right with god.  half the time he went drunk.  to me that is not a very respectful of god or gods house. i got mad at god for taking my hubby away.  he was young.  but god knows i love him.  maybe the doctor thought i might get some answers that he would not agree with,  your friend dont forget me.  mandy876

[sara12345]

Going to church has nothing to do with your lack of love in God.  It has to do with you reaching out to others to expand your world and the love that is out there for you. (And going to church does reinforce your love with God. That's what our pastor says).  "God helps those who help themselves."  I'm sure you've heard that.  You took the step of going to your doctor today.  That was good. If you take your doctor's advice to double your Effexor, that will be a big step in helping yourself. Another way to help yourself is by reaching out to others.  

Could you explain why you think the doctor thought that you should stop being on Medhelp?  I can think of some reasons, but I think it is important for you to explain it.

I don't know how quickly you will stop reading Medhelp, so I am going to post this same message for you on your other posting.

You're on the right track.  You deserve some credit for your steps forward.
Love, Sara

[mandy876]

we have talked about it.  she is waiting for her arm gets well.  she does not have all the strength back.  the left arm still has 1 place that is still draining.  it has been a long time since I went to church.  but I do talk to god from my home.  I don't feel you have to go to church to believe in god and for him to love you.  I have gone to church since cradle roll.  I will go with her if I go.  she probably want go if I don't go with her. since my good neighbor got married she spends her spare time with him.  on week ends they go to see their children.  she loves our grandson.  she always gives him m&ms.they have that in common.  mandy876

[sara12345]

Your niece has the right idea--to go to church to meet people.  I hope that you will follow her example, by either going to church with her, or using her car to get to church or calling a senior ride.  That is a good move for you.

[mandy876]

my niece is wanting to join a church.  and see if she can meet people her age.  she met a man at the surgery center when she had her arm surgery.  he was having surgery on his shoulder.  he belonged to a group that thought you to dance the old time dances.  im sure some new dance steps. I would like to go to the church service.  I prefer being a Baptist that was what I was raised as.  they enrolled me in cradle roll.  my old preacher gave my husbands funeral.  brother morgan was preaching on radio.  the nice lady works and does things with her husband on weekends or goes to see his and her children. no one around here all the ones I knew have died.  or moved off.  I cant walk much my back hurts so bad.  that I break out in a sweat and get ice cold and feel really strange.  my old church was a good church until they moved to out skirts of town and it is now a very large church.  they moved closer to the richer people.  I feel like I am going to be sick.  I will write to you later.  your friend, mandy876

[mandy876]

I gave her the car I cannot take it back.  she has the title.  but she want change it to her name.  I can call Austin and tell them I sold my car and they did not change the title.  they will send me a form to fill out,  when thy come.  the 6 year old wants to stay in my room and we play games on the computer.  he is a sweetie.  I cant stay on the computer long, I have dry eye syndrome.  have to use a lot of eye drops.  the house next door was where my friend lived.  they are trying to sell it as is.  it is a mess.  trash all over the house.  a couple with 8 kids moved in 2nd door up.  it is a black man.  my niece asked him how many kids he had he said 8.  she told him we had a swing set no one used if he wanted it.  we ate and looked out back it was gone.  he was so excited.  he said the kids did not have anything to do.  your friend love mandy876

[mandy876]

when she comes up here that is the first thing we will do.  change the title on the car.  if she does not come.  there is a form I can get to change the title.  they talked me into selling my moms car I had already put a lot of money in to it.  and the air conditioner still was not working.  I wanted to keep it.  the neighbors to the north of me or renters and the one next door is vacant the drug addicts just moved out and completely stripped it out.  even told the patio cover and took the metal of the storage shed.  took the central air units and the hot water heater.  they came over to see if we wanted the cabinets.  the neighbor on the other side her mom and dad lived there we were friends.  when they died she moved in.  she took ccare of them.  she was over every day took her mom to church every sunday..  she works and her and her husband raise rabbits and usually are not around a lot.  she is a sweetie.  but she stays busy.  then on the other side.  she just had surgery her intestines ruptured and has had a time recovering.  we have never been close.  I knew someone who knew her.  she ran around on her husband all the time.  she tried to get this persons husband to go with her.  I  just don't like her she is not my type.  I do not believe in cheating on your spouse.  then the house o the other side of them the mans wife just did and I think he moved in with his girlfriend.  the people on the other side of her or Iranians they speak no English.  that's about it.  thanks for trying.  your friend l love  mandy876

[sara12345]

I am so very proud of you that you are not going to pay the insurance.  But you must take the car back or you can be liable for every you own and will ever have if there is a bad crash.  I know that it is hard to say no to people and to set the limits with them as in you getting the car back, but you will feel better about yourself.  If people don't treat you well, then you owe them nothing.

I have said it many times, but you need to see the doctor and tell them how severely depressed you are.  The doctor can increase or change your anti-depressant.  That would help you.  Start to take care of yourself some.  

And don't rely on two people, your niece and her daughter for your sole source of human contact.  That isn't smart.  Like so many of us have encouraged you to even go to a neighbor's house and offer to have them over for coffee or tea.

Continue to wish that you would do something to help yourself.  But not paying the insurance is a first really great step.  If you can't get much for the car, and can't manage to ask for it back, which you SHOULD do, then change the title over to her so that you don't have the liability.
Your tireless friend,
love, Sara