so confused by a girl, don't want to end up broken

[lukecon]

first, i haven't dated in 4 years and have no self confidemce with women..

we met online and texted for a week....we then met and had a good time..we didnt make out or do anything sexuall..just talked and hung.we both had a great time..we continued texting and she would text me while i was working saying "i miss you" or" please get off work!"...she also said i make her smile

the thing is she has said she doesnt really wanna do a relationship. she also met another guy off the internet the other night..she said all they did was talk

im confused..i really like her and she said she enjoys talking to me and she has said she would love to cuddle with me and wants to come over thursday night, but i'm araid of being massevily let down. i'm trying to open up to her but am very confused by her

what do i do? what is she lookin for

i know this sounds like dating advice but she makes me happy...i don't wanna end up hurt

[kidnurse]

I don't blame you for being wary.  The fact that she says she doesn't want a relationship may mean she likes you only as a friend or isn't sure how she feels about you.  Then she said she'd love to cuddle so is sending a mixed message.  I wouldn't get too involved emotionally unless she says she's changed her mind and wants a relationship or you're content with not really being her boyfriend.   I agree with the commenter who says there are better places to look for someone in person.  Also with the person who said we all get our hearts broken--I certainly did multiple times years ago.  But I think men's confidence is overrated in attracting women.  I'd rather see someone who was sensitive and thoughtful and insecure than someone who falsely thought he was great!

[MYoungAtHeart]

I just read your post, see that you have not dated in 4 years...The internet
has really taken off in the past 4 years and contacts and relationships move very fast, sometimes overnight....
sooner or later, the reasons you have not dated in 4 years, will surface with internet dating.  You still have to meet the people to have a date.

Part of the draw of internet dating is the large amount of people you can be interested in and the large amount of people who will be interested in who you are looking at.  Part of the problem of internet dating is that breakups can now happen with a text message and a changed number.....

It would be great if you could work on raising your self esteem and maybe saying hello or smiling at that person you see every day at Starbucks or the library or church...Good things start slow and quality people are not only interested in how many Facebook dating contacts they have ....

Good luck in your adventures

M

[mammo]

Hi....nobody wants to get hurt but in order to find love you have to put your heart out there.  You just met this girl and she you, and she appears to be very interested in you.  But it's very early for you to know her well enough to know if you even want to have a long term relationship....be patient with yourself and think about what YOU want and deserve in another person.  Take it slow and just because she's met someone else doesn't mean she's not more interested in you. Women like confidence in a guy so work at knowing you have many wonderful qualities to offer someone, and fake the confidence if need be. The fact that she says she doesn't want a relationship may be true or she may just be saying it so that you don't get too serious too soon.  As I said, at this point you don't know if you want a relationship with this person as you don't know her well enough, so you can just enjoy what time you have and see what happens.  You have to be willing to get hurt, it happens to everyone and often more than once.  So long as you learn from it...it's okay.  Broken hearts make us grow emotionally even though it hurts at the time.  Don't take any break-up personally, it may have nothing to do with you. This is a tough decision for you, I think YOU should determine how the date goes and don't go too fast.  It's hard to predict what the gal wants so you have to decide if she's worth the risk. I hope this helps, and good luck.