Aa
stopped pristiq, pregnant, and lost
Hi everyone! I'm new to this forum but not med help its a great site. Well I'm afraid that I don't know where to start and be warned I'm a rambler... so I have been battling depression for years and finally got help 2 years ago and had been taking pristiq while I never felt "better" completely I was able to function and build some better coping mechanisms. About 3 months ago I quit cold turkey withdrawal was awful. But seeing as hubby and I were trying to conceive and it being a category c drug (and me already being high risk while pregnant) I got it in my head it would be better to quit and see how things would go and if need be after breastfeeding start over. Happy to say I'm 2 months now and gelt ok for a little while. But I'm losing it. I'm falling back on old habits that were still an issue but were minor hiccups as opposed to big problems. For example I can't answer my phone unless its my hubby or bff. I don't open my mail and very rarely leave the house my poor 3 year old deserves better and her daddy is in Brazil for work so all she has is a piece of crap constantly crying, or yelling mommy. I don't have any patience everything irritates me I'm drowning. Although I do have a few good moments the 'tape recorder' in the back of my mind fills me with doubt and despair. Please someone tell me what to do. Do I go back on my meds to be better? I feel like such a failure and really thought I could handle this and live without them I don't want to depend on them but I'm lost. Its just going to get worse. Thanks for reading sorry its so long please if anyone can help me I'd be so grateful.
Most loved ones don't understand if they have never experienced it for themselves. If we could just all put our big girl/boy pants on and get over it, this forum wouldn't be as busy as it is! Depression/anxiety aren't things we can just shake off or get over. It takes help and work.
That doesn't mean that there aren't things you can do to help yourself more. It's very hard to push yourself when you are depressed and lack motivation. I TOTALLY understand that, however, the more you do it, the easier it gets. You need to get in therapy and stay in therapy for a while. I go to therapy twice a month and have for a long time. I look forward to it.
Sounds like you and your brother are kind of feeding off each other in the lack of motivation department. Could he possibly be depressed as well? I would ask him about it, and tell him if he is, he should get some help too. You can't make him though, and right now, you need to focus on YOU, but you can bring it up to him and maybe when he sees YOU working on yourself, it will motivate him to do the same.
If he isn't depressed, then eventually you need to get a little tough with him. There's no reason he shouldn't be working and contributing to the household. While it's nice that you have helped your brothers out, sometimes taking in family (especially when they aren't doing much) can be very stressful. Once you're in a better place, I would urge you to start gently pushing him towards his own independence. He won't be very motivated to do much though, if you allow him to be complacent, plus, that won't help him...only enable him. Again, YOU are the focus right now...but when you're feeling better, that needs addressed.
So, on top of getting back on a medication, (if you decide to), and therapy...start setting some small goals for yourself. Start spending some time with your friends again, find a new hobby, take a class about something you've always wanted to learn. At first it will be hard to push yourself, you won't feel like going..but the more you do it, the more you will realize you actually enjoy it, and it will give you more motivation. You'll feel better, a little at a time. I have to push myself almost daily...but when I d, I'm always glad I did, and feel SO much better.
Sounds like you already know what you have to do, and have done it before, so it's time to get back on that horse. We'll be here and we'll look forward to your updates!
That doesn't mean that there aren't things you can do to help yourself more. It's very hard to push yourself when you are depressed and lack motivation. I TOTALLY understand that, however, the more you do it, the easier it gets. You need to get in therapy and stay in therapy for a while. I go to therapy twice a month and have for a long time. I look forward to it.
Sounds like you and your brother are kind of feeding off each other in the lack of motivation department. Could he possibly be depressed as well? I would ask him about it, and tell him if he is, he should get some help too. You can't make him though, and right now, you need to focus on YOU, but you can bring it up to him and maybe when he sees YOU working on yourself, it will motivate him to do the same.
If he isn't depressed, then eventually you need to get a little tough with him. There's no reason he shouldn't be working and contributing to the household. While it's nice that you have helped your brothers out, sometimes taking in family (especially when they aren't doing much) can be very stressful. Once you're in a better place, I would urge you to start gently pushing him towards his own independence. He won't be very motivated to do much though, if you allow him to be complacent, plus, that won't help him...only enable him. Again, YOU are the focus right now...but when you're feeling better, that needs addressed.
So, on top of getting back on a medication, (if you decide to), and therapy...start setting some small goals for yourself. Start spending some time with your friends again, find a new hobby, take a class about something you've always wanted to learn. At first it will be hard to push yourself, you won't feel like going..but the more you do it, the more you will realize you actually enjoy it, and it will give you more motivation. You'll feel better, a little at a time. I have to push myself almost daily...but when I d, I'm always glad I did, and feel SO much better.
Sounds like you already know what you have to do, and have done it before, so it's time to get back on that horse. We'll be here and we'll look forward to your updates!
Oh I forgot to mention that I think my family is sick of me at this point our relationships have really suffered from issues that happened before I broke. I was the peacekeeper the optimist "come to me if you need anything" type and since I've let my struggle be known its been difficult for everyone to realize I'm not that person amymore. I should just tough it up, put on my big-girl-pants and get over it. But my "get over it button" is broken. All I do is dissapoint them so I don't reach out anymore because it makes me feel worse.
Hey all,
Firstly thank you so much for listening to me. Remar and Celia thank you for reassuring me it meant so much to know you girls are out there somewhere :-) Nursegirl u are right I made a mistake and to be honest I see know that I was crashing for awhile before I stopped the meds. Yes, i tried therapy for a short month at the beginning of my pristiq. Stupidly I stopped going because long story short my younger brother(17 at the time) was living with my husband and I started to pull some pretty wacky stuff (I was ashamed and embarrassed to share) instead of doing the smart thing and have my counselor guide me I got discougaged and quit. We moved out of state about a year later(the brother stayed behind, his choice but I was selfishly happy about it) and brought another of my brothers with us(20 at the time) its been almost a year here. The move was so cleansing at first the only hiccup was my hubbys new job means he travels most of the time. But I decided to be happy again,made new friends, went back to school things were looking up. We bought our first home, hubby was home from Jan til second week of April(the longest he'd been here since we moved). Well I'm not sure what happened. I quit pristiq around beginning of march. My hubby is gone til who knows when, my bro doesn't work, doesn't leave the house unless I send him to the store or goes with me somewhere. He is so painfully shy and me living with depression pushing him seems like the wrong thing to do. Ugh it feels good to type it out. You guys are right and thank you for helping to give me courage to ask do help again. But I can't help but feel although getting stable again will help but the situation I'm in won't change. Maybe with therapy will at least help me cope. Thank you girls so much calling the doc today.
Firstly thank you so much for listening to me. Remar and Celia thank you for reassuring me it meant so much to know you girls are out there somewhere :-) Nursegirl u are right I made a mistake and to be honest I see know that I was crashing for awhile before I stopped the meds. Yes, i tried therapy for a short month at the beginning of my pristiq. Stupidly I stopped going because long story short my younger brother(17 at the time) was living with my husband and I started to pull some pretty wacky stuff (I was ashamed and embarrassed to share) instead of doing the smart thing and have my counselor guide me I got discougaged and quit. We moved out of state about a year later(the brother stayed behind, his choice but I was selfishly happy about it) and brought another of my brothers with us(20 at the time) its been almost a year here. The move was so cleansing at first the only hiccup was my hubbys new job means he travels most of the time. But I decided to be happy again,made new friends, went back to school things were looking up. We bought our first home, hubby was home from Jan til second week of April(the longest he'd been here since we moved). Well I'm not sure what happened. I quit pristiq around beginning of march. My hubby is gone til who knows when, my bro doesn't work, doesn't leave the house unless I send him to the store or goes with me somewhere. He is so painfully shy and me living with depression pushing him seems like the wrong thing to do. Ugh it feels good to type it out. You guys are right and thank you for helping to give me courage to ask do help again. But I can't help but feel although getting stable again will help but the situation I'm in won't change. Maybe with therapy will at least help me cope. Thank you girls so much calling the doc today.
Hello there! I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. There are definitely options, and the important thing to focus on is that you know you need to reach out for help, and you're doing that. We'll be here to support you along the way.
For starters, (a little lecture, lol)..you NEVER EVER want to stop taking a med cold turkey. There's a very good reason why these meds need slowly tapered. I understand that you were concerned, but there definitely would have been better ways to handle this than to just stop taking the medication abruptly. It's over and done with, but PLEASE remember this for the future. If you're ever looking to come off an antidepressant, please do so with the guidance of your doctor, and a taper.
Two, I would definitely recommend asking for a referral to a psychiatrist. They really are the best people to be handling these issues. If you had a heart condition, you would be under the care of a cardiologist. Same thing applies here.
Third, did you participate in any therapy along with the Pristiq? That is crucial in the treatment of depression and anxiety (which it seems you're suffering from as well). Not only will you receive emotional support, but also a therapist will help you learn coping mechanisms and ways to make changes that will be effective more long term. I'm a supporter of meds in some situations, but they are not a cure all or a fix. They help to control symptoms, but more work is needed.
The decision to take an antidepressant during pregnancy is one that is unique to each person's situation. While there are inherent risks to taking ANY kind of medication during pregnancy, sometimes the benefits far outweigh the risks. Also, like you mentioned, there are different levels of risk assigned to each med, some are much less risky. Only YOU can make that decision.
There absolutely are antidepressants that are considered "safer" to take during pregnancy, and plenty of women have taken them during their pregnancies with no adverse effects to the baby. I'm one of them. I was switched to Prozac from Lexapro during my pregnancy (for an anxiety disorder) and it helped a lot. I too was not functioning well and that just wasn't ook with me. This is something you can discuss with your OB. I would recommend going to see your OB first, decide what you want to do about medication, and get that ball rolling. Your symptoms are definitely severe enough that medication would be warranted.
When you see your OB, also ask for a referral for therapy. The psychiatrist may not be necessary just yet, as the medications would have to be run by your OB anyway, but after you deliver, I would definitely recommend finding a p-doc who can take over the management of your treatment. I personally prefer a practice that incorporates both the doctor (for the meds) and a therapist. It's nice to have everything in one place, and that way the doctor can more closely monitor your progress, with the doc and therapist sharing notes and communicating about your treatment in a more direct way than if you were going to two different places. Withj that more direct line of communication, your treatment plan can be modified when necessary, when either the doc, or the therapist has identified some issues. You can mention this when you ask your OB for a referral. Tell her you would like to be seen at a practice where you will have both your p-doc and your counselor. You would proibably have an intital intake assessment with the doc, but like I said, probably wouldn't need to see him/her on a regular basis until after the baby is born.
Pregnancy can be a rough time for any woman, with the hormonal issues that cause moods and emotions to be all over the place. A woman with chronic depression and anxiety is going to be far more prone to having issues, which is why it's important to recognize that help is needed.
Definitely
take that first step and make an appt with your OB to discuss this ASAP. Let us know how it goes, okay? We're here, anytime you need to vent, or for any questions.
Congrats on the pregnancy, TRY to relax and enjoy it a little, finding reassurance in the fact that you will be seeking help to feel better. It takes time, it won't happen overnight, but you'll get there. Also be sure to lean on the other people in your life...friends, family, etc. You don't have to be a hero and handle this all by yourself. :0)
For starters, (a little lecture, lol)..you NEVER EVER want to stop taking a med cold turkey. There's a very good reason why these meds need slowly tapered. I understand that you were concerned, but there definitely would have been better ways to handle this than to just stop taking the medication abruptly. It's over and done with, but PLEASE remember this for the future. If you're ever looking to come off an antidepressant, please do so with the guidance of your doctor, and a taper.
Two, I would definitely recommend asking for a referral to a psychiatrist. They really are the best people to be handling these issues. If you had a heart condition, you would be under the care of a cardiologist. Same thing applies here.
Third, did you participate in any therapy along with the Pristiq? That is crucial in the treatment of depression and anxiety (which it seems you're suffering from as well). Not only will you receive emotional support, but also a therapist will help you learn coping mechanisms and ways to make changes that will be effective more long term. I'm a supporter of meds in some situations, but they are not a cure all or a fix. They help to control symptoms, but more work is needed.
The decision to take an antidepressant during pregnancy is one that is unique to each person's situation. While there are inherent risks to taking ANY kind of medication during pregnancy, sometimes the benefits far outweigh the risks. Also, like you mentioned, there are different levels of risk assigned to each med, some are much less risky. Only YOU can make that decision.
There absolutely are antidepressants that are considered "safer" to take during pregnancy, and plenty of women have taken them during their pregnancies with no adverse effects to the baby. I'm one of them. I was switched to Prozac from Lexapro during my pregnancy (for an anxiety disorder) and it helped a lot. I too was not functioning well and that just wasn't ook with me. This is something you can discuss with your OB. I would recommend going to see your OB first, decide what you want to do about medication, and get that ball rolling. Your symptoms are definitely severe enough that medication would be warranted.
When you see your OB, also ask for a referral for therapy. The psychiatrist may not be necessary just yet, as the medications would have to be run by your OB anyway, but after you deliver, I would definitely recommend finding a p-doc who can take over the management of your treatment. I personally prefer a practice that incorporates both the doctor (for the meds) and a therapist. It's nice to have everything in one place, and that way the doctor can more closely monitor your progress, with the doc and therapist sharing notes and communicating about your treatment in a more direct way than if you were going to two different places. Withj that more direct line of communication, your treatment plan can be modified when necessary, when either the doc, or the therapist has identified some issues. You can mention this when you ask your OB for a referral. Tell her you would like to be seen at a practice where you will have both your p-doc and your counselor. You would proibably have an intital intake assessment with the doc, but like I said, probably wouldn't need to see him/her on a regular basis until after the baby is born.
Pregnancy can be a rough time for any woman, with the hormonal issues that cause moods and emotions to be all over the place. A woman with chronic depression and anxiety is going to be far more prone to having issues, which is why it's important to recognize that help is needed.
Definitely
take that first step and make an appt with your OB to discuss this ASAP. Let us know how it goes, okay? We're here, anytime you need to vent, or for any questions.
Congrats on the pregnancy, TRY to relax and enjoy it a little, finding reassurance in the fact that you will be seeking help to feel better. It takes time, it won't happen overnight, but you'll get there. Also be sure to lean on the other people in your life...friends, family, etc. You don't have to be a hero and handle this all by yourself. :0)
Hi Miss G , I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. Clearly , you recognize this and are here looking for support. Acknowledging that you need help is the first thing. Whether you start medication or not , it sounds like you could do with someone to talk to , to touch base with from time to time - specially when things are bad. I encourage you to go see your doctor and talk things through. You don't need to decide on your own about best treatment.
You are'nt writing long posts. We're here to listen and help of we can.
There are a few meds that can be taken "safely" while pregnant. I'm really not sure if you have to be more than 3 months along or not. Please talk to your Dr about this because it may be an option for you.
Were you seeing a Psychiatrist before you got pregnant, are you seeing one now?
I'm not sure if I would let my primary care Dr prescribe an antidepressant if I were having a high risk pregnancy. I really think a Psychiatrist can better help you choose the safest med.
There are a few meds that can be taken "safely" while pregnant. I'm really not sure if you have to be more than 3 months along or not. Please talk to your Dr about this because it may be an option for you.
Were you seeing a Psychiatrist before you got pregnant, are you seeing one now?
I'm not sure if I would let my primary care Dr prescribe an antidepressant if I were having a high risk pregnancy. I really think a Psychiatrist can better help you choose the safest med.
Thank you for replying it means a lot. I am two months pregnant right now. That is why I am so concerned. I've never really been to a psychiatrist just gotten meds through a primary care doc. It just makes me feel so discouraged to even try to get back on meds and start this process over while being pregnant. A healthy baby is what is important but I need to be able to function and act like a human being. It makes me feel selfish and I know its not but its an emotion I can't help but have. My obgyn said he would help if I needed but I am soooo worried to hurt this baby. Preterm labor took my first daughter and threatened my second thank the Lord she came on time and cooked long enough. But there is always a chance it could happen again. Omg I'm sorry to be so long winded its just I feel so shut off from the world right now I didn't know where else to turn.
You probably do need some meds to help with your problems. As to what to take, you need to talk to a psychiatrist for that, especially since you want to get pregnant. A psychiatrist knows much more about psych drugs than your family doctor would. You want to feel good while making your body safe for a baby.
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