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Avatar universal

unstable and not sure what to do next

okay its been 5 days since my husband left the house  5 days since he had a drink' 6 days since i went to the emeregency room for very high blood pressure and i felt i was haveing heart problems im still not okay it has been 7 days off the pristiq and i still take the lorazapam for anaxiety my husband begged me to stay so he could prove he could fix this yet i dont believe him! a few months ago in a drunk state he through his wedding ring in the snow in the back yard needless to say he still has not found it looked for it or got a new one but he can write out a check to help out his friend help everyone yet he wont be honest about where he was what he did who picked him up etc etc yet tells me he does not want me mad at his friends yet he does not want to involve them since the last time he did leave his friend lied to me and i let him have it so he says to keep his friends out of our ****( but am i wrong when i think he was the one that involved his friends not me) he wont tell me who picked him up where he was and who took him back to his sisters in the morning all i feel was a huge cover up for god knows what since then i have cried everyday will not leave it alone nor do i feel i can let it go im so angry i gave him my rings and told him to go help out another friend since he could not help us we realy have not spoke in days unless we had to im up a few times a night my heart is racing again i cant stop shaking and im pissed as hell that im not a priority he says it is all nothing yet i find myself attacking him over and over and i have told him that i dont want to live like this nor do i want to continue living period i feel so damn angry and edgy i know some of this is me not taking my meds for depression but am i justified and i hate questioning my self over every move he makes i get extremly hatefull yet i feel justified i think yet i yet im so damn mad it wont go away i have tried to forget and somwhat forgive yet everymorning i feel angry all over again im scared of what is next im trully feeling so darn alone and latley i feel like none of this is worth living like this  sad to say but my kids are even upsetting me more then usual i dont know what symptom belongs to what issue im so damn scared and my heart is pounding not to mention my jaw hurts due to tention my upper back feels like i have something wrong my heart feels so tight and all i want is to know i will make it through this and i dont know what else to do or say
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Avatar universal
i agree with wolf, al-anon is a support group for people living with or dealing with an alcoholic. there are lots of different meds out there and i bet there's one that will work for you. maybe you should let your husband stay away for awhile and give you a break so you can get calmed down, find a good phsyciatrist and try another medication. let us know how your doing and take care. remar
Helpful - 0
460185 tn?1326077772
It does sound like you're dealing with a lot - all at the same time.  That's how bad things happen; a lot of them and all at once.

Have you considered Al-Anon?  It won't fix your husband but it might help you and offer you the support you need in dealing with an alcoholic.


Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Your stream of thoughts make it seem like your mind is racing (called flight of ideas).  Plus you say you're shaky, nervous and anxious, along with being depressed.  These could all be signs of a manic episode or a mixed manic episode.  Ask yourself if you are also feeling very talkative, are easily distracted, sleeping little and/or feeling out of control.  Be sure to tell your doctor about any and all of these possible symptoms.  I'm not familiar with the medication you're on but you should check with your doctor to make sure if it's the right medication in case you are having manic episodes.
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Avatar universal
Hello, i have been on and off depression meds for over two years first prozac, then effxor xr and then this new **** pristiq which my doctor had me cutting extended release capsuls in half for over two weeks becaous of panic attack that only started after the pristiq,the er said 154/116 was way to high kept me there till it went down so the dr sugested to get off of then they were having to many side effects my issues is my husband is an alacholic on top of is 44 year old sister has stage 4 cancer and he is falling apart`his other sister has tried to od twice over the sister with cancer sadly she needs extreme help i have sat and watched my husband of 18 years fall to his knees yet his alachol is causind my anaxiety and depression and sadly enough my anger and stress comes from him as wellas me not being able to deal with the lies the drunken nights or the pain i have just trying to make sure the teens are okay and the business we run does not fall apart due to him taking off when drunk when i provoke him he says at night to not show up for work the next day it goes on and on  im sorry to ramble last night i asked if we could tak should have realized he was drinking befor we left but got really upset he tried to comfort me as he lied to my face about not drinking he says he lies so he wont hurt me but i already know he blames me cause he cant help himself right now i have looked into alanon but im petrified of it and i think that5 is my own issue but im at the point where veerything he does effects me or my kids and my life has turned into resentment yet i cant seem to leave or not fear what will happen next my anaxiety has gotten worse i feel physically ill all day i shake daily i was nervous about the pristiq effecting my kidneys of course the doctor never mentioned that with pristiq with history with kidney should not be taken but honestly 1 mg 3 times a day of lorazapam barley touches my symptoms for anaxiety and thart stuff is habbit forming and im scared
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hi, this is remar. wow! you are going through alot right now and i feel for you. can i ask why your not taking your meds? is your blood pressure high because of the stress? you need to try and calm down, i know, easier said than done. little things can really help alot. taking a walk, taking a long hot bath or taking your kids to the park. have you and your husband ever had counseling? i can tell by the way you wrote and what you wrote that you are stressed to the max. we're her to listen to you and give support. take care. remar
Helpful - 0
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