When life feels like this, that's depression. Depression is really hard to fix, but many people do, either in therapy or combined with medication. Try to see your problem, or at least how I see it, as a two-part problem. The first is, your life isn't going the way you want right now. But that happens at some point ot everyone. The second is, you feel life is hopeless. That's depression. You can fix the first part by changing your life, as Mom mentions above. But if you're depressed, it's often really hard to do that because being depressed includes not believing anything will work out. You can, for example, take two people with a horrible disease. One loses all enjoyment for life, the other doesn't. Same disease. Two different people. If you're finding it continually difficult to find enjoyment in life, it might be time to really focus on the depression part so you can do better at focusing on the other part. All the best.
Hey there. I felt almost every word you wrote here. Depression is something awful and sits in every spot of your brain just waiting for the chance to jump up and say, "hey, you're not good enough! This life isn't good enough! You're never going anywhere!" etc. The strength of those thoughts are completely paralyzing; so much that you begin to forget just who you really are inside. Take each day at a time. If that is too much, take each hour, or each minute at a time. Each and every day can (and will likely) be a struggle at first, but you will get stronger with time. If you are open to the option of therapy and/or medication, give that a try! Find the tools to help you build your strength. Eventually, you will be strong enough to quiet the thoughts in your brain, and when they become louder than life again you will have the tools to help recognize and manage them.
I wish you the absolute best. Depression is a BEAST. The worst kind, especially if there are other diagnoses hiding behind it or coupled with it.
So, you mentioned in your earlier post "praying" which leads me to believe you are faithful. What about a church family? Some churches that are nondenominational especially that are often really large have many avenues to connect. One big one in my city has groups of all sorts. They want everyone to be able to join and have 'community'. There are single people and many of them that are in groups. And I'm sure most places have churches like this. Another great way to have connections is volunteering. Lots psych doctors and psychologists in my city recommend volunteering to their patient population because it gives you a 'feel good' sense about your self as well as it gets you 'out there'. When I moved to a city that I didn't know anyone, I joined a gym. There are may inexpensive options for this--- a national chain near me offers memberships for 10 bucks a month. The Y is inexpensive too and has a sliding fee scale based on income. So, that might be something to look into. To tell you how effective this can be, I met a friend who I just started randomly chatting with because we were always at the gym at the same time and doing similar work outs. We ended up becoming great friends and she was eventually a bridesmaid in my wedding. Met at the gym as a stranger. You could consider taking a class at a community college as well.
It's hard and I really feel for you.
There are some lessons Ive learned I want to share with you.
First look at yourself objectively. Do you think well of yourself. If the answer is yes then there is no where to go on this point. However if the answer is no, then there is so much that can be done. Make a list of your strengths and weakness. Then a plan to correct them. Whatever it is you are in control of you and you can change and make you better.
Second look at the world as a possibility for growth. Learn different things, through actual experiences or using the virtual world to learn about other cultures, foods, music. There is so much out there that do not cost anything but a trip to the library to broaden your horizon.
Third, all of this is self enhancement. Know this, all of us should invest in ourselves often, this is a lifelong process, and it makes living an adventure. Self appreciation makes everyone more outgoing, self assured and positive.