I am sorry to hear of all the great losses in your life. If you had never had depression before I think you have it because of the deep losses you have experienced in your life. It sounds like you are mourning for one family member and no sooner you get the chance to finish mourning over a loved one, you lose another one. I think you are in the deep midst of mourning because of all of your losses. Maybe you should try to join a bereavement group and share your story with others and possibly build long-lasting friendships to help you through this very terrible time for you. Try looking at community centers or in the newspapers.
Hope you get to feeling better,
Firstly sorry for your losses,you have lost loved ones and that is hardest situation one has to deal with in life but you need to be strong now for them and yes it,s true you know that,s what they would have wanted.With the right treatments like therapy and medications that will work for you it is very possible to beat depression or a least keep it at bay.It,s not easy but with the right formula in place it can be done.You seem like a fighter.Hang in there and god didn,t leave you all alone,the circumstances and the unpredictability of life did.I wish you all the best.