a while ago, i noticed an odd spot on right rand's index finger, second join from the top, on the side of my finger. it was hard, kind of like a calous, reminisent of the firmness of a wart i guess. its not a /dead/ spot, like i cant feel something touching there, but pain is next to nothing like the nerves there are incredibly numb.
this wouldnt be a problem, on its own. however, as a very anxious person with whats probably an undiagnosed case of ocd, or some equally nervous disorder, odd things out like this get /attacked/. i rarely notice when i do it until it inevitably does start hurting from all the biting, picking, scratching, attempts to peel off and tear off bits of the skin. the area never bleeds, no matter how much of the dry spot i eat away at, but its red from all the irritation, it hurts to bend my finger as its right in the corner of that palm-side joint. im worried about getting the damn thing infected or spreading the deadened feeling area further with all the damage im doing to it.
i know based on previous habit i wont be able to stop myself on just willpower, its mostly unconscious behavior. even if i do manage to get it all to heal in a low stress time, its healed back only for the spot to still be dead, hard, and dry, so i just eat into it again. its not a callous, its not a wart, and even fully healed its still... dead. to prevent any more damage eating at my hand and finger, i need to figure out whats with this spot and how to make it go away.
unrelated but similarly, tips to stop eating at the skin of my fingers around the nails would also be helpful, as the biting is a terrible nervous habit of my ocd that cant be good.