I can relate. There are 3 people in my home who ate T1 diabetics, my daughters and my
husband. The other comment posted is good advice. When My husband goes high it seems he is very irritable. unfortunately he does not manage his diabetes as well as his children so I have been there for the lows and the highs. To help me deal with his obstinance i utilize Alanons approach, detach with love and care for yourself first. I too am sorry your husband is so virulent in his attacks on you but it may help to look up some of Alanons techniques for dealing with their spouses. It also feels very lonely to be in your position, I promise there are many of us in similar situations. just keep reaching out, you will find the answers you need. You are woth it.
Both high and low blood sugars do affect moods. At 400 your husband's blood sugar is way into the danger zone, and if he is sustaining blood sugars that high he is in danger of going into DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis) which is a medical emergency.
However...having said that...it is normal for a person to be somewhat irritable, grouchy, short-tempered, etc. But I'm sorry to say your husband's behavior is over the line of what can be attributed to high blood sugar and indicate a problem that already exists and is exacerbated by the blood sugar. I do NOT believe it is your fault and I do NOT believe abusive behavior is EVER justified by blood glucose levels. It is very hard to advise someone what to do in an abusive situation, because it is your life. All I will say is that whatever decisions you would make about your response to this behavior should not be any different because he is a diabetic. At the very least I would recommend therapy, for him individually and for you as a couple. I'm sorry you are going through this.
Another issue entirely is why your husband is not controlling his blood sugar.