Moodiness and Diabetes

[Larassong]

I'm in love with a Type 1 insulin dependant diabetic.  For the most part he is sweet, loving, considerate, caring, and the most wonderful man I could ever hope for.  Even after 11 months, I'm amazed daily at how incredible he is.  

My question is about moodiness.  I have read tons of forums and articles about how sugar lvls can affect hormones/moods and I wonder how you all deal with those.  He is by no means abusive or cruel, he just withdraws and closes himself off and if I leave him alone and give him some space he seems to bounce right back and be even more loving and affectionate for it.  

It's tons of little things, like we'll be in the process of doing something like watching TV, taking a walk or doing dishes and suddenly he'll seem restless and even confused.  Or we'll be with friends and I'll see him start to get more and more agitated and irritated (when the situation doesn't seem to warrant it) and I know we'll need to leave soon or he'll start getting cranky and I don't want to alienate any of our friends.  When I've talked to HIS friends, they just laugh and chalk it up to it being him and that he's always like that.

I guess I'm wondering if this is a common problem or if I'm just in love with a curmudgeony moody ******* :D.  I love him very very much and these things certainly aren't a deal breaker for me.  How do you all handle your relationshops. Also, if you ARE diabetic, how does your spouse handle your swings?  Are they helpful to you?

[JJL570]

My girlfriend and I (I am a type 1) have been together over a year and she is a RN.  She just asks me to check my levels.  At times, I get confused when I am low and from being a type 1 for 37 years low blood sugars are hard to recognize.  I have had some problems with my insulin delivery system on the pump recently which has brought me to extremely high sugar levels and I do get cranky, concerned and upset.  When my levels are good I feel good and go back to my usual self but it is hard to tell yourself that your mood has changed.  Open comunication is critical between you both.

[Larassong]

Early on in the relationship when he'd withdraw I'd keep asking him what was wrong and he always seemed clueless as to why I'd ask.  I'd get to the point of asking him if he was angry with me for something and he'd be shocked I would think that.  Then I started researching the 'side effects' from Diabetes and realized it might be his lvls.

I guess inadvertantly that's exactly what we've begun to do.  When I notice him becoming withdrawn and apathetic or even cranky I'll always ask if he's eaten.  LOL!!!  

That usually bumps him into testing and then eating something.  I really do think that living alone for so long he doesn't even realize he's acting any differently until it's pointed out to him.  It's funny that we've fallen into that pattern and I hadn't really thought about it.  

The moodiness and him withdrawing is very hard for me, but now that I'm starting to understand it's his lvls and not something with us, i can find a way to back off him and deal with it.  

thanks again for all your help. . i'm still VERY interested in hearing how the signficant othes/spouses handle living with this :D    Now that things are getting more serious and we're doing more talking about the future I'm researching more and more on how he needs to eat and what changes there will be to my life as well as his.

[KevinHarney]

I totally agree !!!!!  I am a Diabetic and my Spouse tells me the same thing exactly.  Simply asks me " Do you need to test".  This serves as a sign to me that I am acting a little out of character without telling all of those around me.  He usually sees it way before I do.  Best to come up with something that can be clear to both of you but totally inocuous to all those around you so as not to embarass him.

[JDRF-VOL-SG]

After reading your very good question, I asked my own husband how HE handles dealing with my blood sugar issues. (I don't get verbally cranky, but rather quiet and withdrawn or a depressed feeling when sugar gets too low -- this rapidly goes away once I drink some juice. I rarely have high levels, so don't really have mood issues with highs.) His quick response caused an 'Awwwwwwwwwww!' moment: he said 'I just say, 'stand back, boys, she's taken.''

Point being that you have to discuss this with your boyfriend and agree on how it should be handled. No, it needn't be a deal breaker in any way, but it IS something that I think most type 1 folks are aware of. It does affect the lives of those who love us. My husband and I have agreed that if he notices I am behaving in a dazed fashion or that I have gone very quiet, he asks me in a firm voice to test my sugar levels. The reality is that our loved ones often can tell before WE can when sugar levels are off. After almost 30 years of marriage, I know that he is usually right, and if there is a question, rather than me insisting that I am OK, it makes more sense to test to make sure.

But I think each of us reacts differently, and you and your sweetheart should discuss how to handle it so he doesn't get defensive. If you AGREE on a mode of action, than he won't see it as an attack but as part of a mutual agreement. Then he will feel he is part of it and is less likely to go into denial or to argue with you.