Always remember that it's ok to cry, and if you feel like crying go for it, your husband should stick up for you and should find a medium between, his family and you. It's certainly not your fault that he can't be around his family. Maybe divorce is a little premature at this stage? Maybe try a separation and see how you both deal with it?
im so sorry for you,i can empathise with you totally, when i first met my now ex husband his family were a bit distant, but I thought it was because they were trying to work me out for themselves!! His mother and his youngest sister were so jealous of me it was untrue,they used to go out of their way to cause trouble in our relationship. His sister used to sit and cry in the pub and say to people she (me) isnt gonna marry my brother because I love him!! etc .
Do you really feel that this is the final thing with you and your husband? he did like you say ,not have any contact with them for four years after the letter he recieved from his mother!! he probaly feels so torn right now, because he loves you and he wants to make sure (even though no ones gonna die) for his own piece of mind that his mum is ok! and maybe once he knows he will then be able to decided whats best to do, concerning you and his family!! If that makes sense !!! but i also think if enough is enough and you feel in your hearts of hearts you cant take anymore maybe you should try some kind of mediation, or then leave or file for divorce if you cannot resolve matters!! good luck hunny
Ultimatums will come back to bite you in the butt. You cannot, nor should not tell a man if he goes to c his mom, keep going. You give him no out. When you marry someone, you marry the whole family. I think you are experiencing what I mean. Your hubby loves you and his family. Do you not love your hubby as well as your family. Sugar will get you more than vinegar.
i agree with teko. this ultimatum is going to bite you and probably bite you hard. that is one thing i would never do to hubby is make him choose between me and his family. i might be his wife...but that's his mother/father/brother/nana/grandma....etc etc etc. those are people who he has known his entire life.
even though they're mean to you (hubby's grandma and aunts are VERY mean to me. in fact when i was pregnant with our sons they told me i was a fat heffer) but they're still his family. remember saying i do after hearing the for better or worse? guess what....they're the worse. and again like teko said....you don't just marry the person....you're marrying the entire family.
Hi, I am not sure how long you have been married? Yet, I do believe that a marriage should, now, I did say "should", be 100% and 100%. Meaning, If you are suffering,
He should think of your well being. Seems to me he is thinking he has to choose?
Well, I know this is difficult. I had an ex we were married 30 yrs. He began to act mean, and put everyone first. I know it is Okay to cry. You are not the mean one here,
sweetheart. There is pain, deep down, and if he can not nor will not go with you to marriage counseling? That will show you if he is "For" you! Keep your chin up. Men love it when they think they have won! You have a good head on your shoulders. Look at the situation, as if "It is Not you, " and someone else? What advice would you give?
Just a thought. Blessings to you, Lahayle53