I've been dating my bf for 2 yrs in a long distance relationship and he ended our relationship to go back to his ex. We both are 21 now and he had dated her for 4 years long distance in highschool. They broke up after he caught her cheating on him in person when visiting. Although we were friends in highschool, I wasn't in contact with him for the last few months of his relationship with her where I really supported him when he felt the worst/betrayed. However, we began talking again as friends and he would vent to me about the breakup. We began dating a few months after their breakup & I made sure he was over his ex before beginning the relationship.
Things were great for 1.5 years even though his ex was now attending the same college as him & we were long distance. But suddenly he started doubting the trust we built, citing my social media profiles as problems and who I was having dinner with even though I remained completely faithful. We fought over this bc I restricted myself out of sake of the relationship but he didn't reciprocate the actions I took. He started distancing himself from me, making excuses that he was busy, couldn't vid chat, short text replies, etc. then I discovered 2 pics of him on diff. instances in a group standing with his ex which I blew up about but his excuse was he happened to see her there with mutual friends and was "forced" to take the pic. He had lied to me about being at that event altogether. After all this drama, he finally admitted to cheating with me a year ago with his ex. (This was probably why he wasn't trusting me bc he cheated behind my back). I was extremely pissed off knowing that he cheated me after having been through getting cheated on by his ex.
After 2 weeks of no contact, he wanted me back and felt guilty of having cheated/treating me badly. I was naive enough to give it a second chance but I brought up the doubt I had for him many times bc I needed to tell him how I felt. We were at an okay point trying to work through what happened. During our rel, he had told me he did not talk to his ex unless for emergencies. Once all this happened, I asked him to not talk to his ex at all like he said he would do earlier in the rel which he said he couldn't do for me anymore. A few days later, he basically ended the rel saying he needed space but when I questioned him further he said he was too busy to keep up our rel, he didn't think it would work out, then finally stated he's gonna go back to his ex.
Since then I have been in no contact with him for 20 days. My questions are: how can I deal with this situation? I loved him a lot and we both could see us together but did he ever love me? Why did this he choose to go back when I was completely faithful/good to him but his ex has cheated? Will he try to come back? I feel that the reason he went back is because now he can have a rel that's not long distance with her. Will they still have all the problems he discussed with me after their breakup? How can he end our friendship/relationship and move directly back with her without a grieving period? Was I just a rebound? I feel so used and it's the reason for my anxiety the past month. I'm afraid of seeing them together happy/eventually married one day. Will they really last given that after graduation they could be in different cities?