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Break up Help scared of starting again

I’ve been with my partner for 5.5 years. He has a 6 year old son, lots of debt and he can’t drive, so whilst I’ve always loved him we’ve always had a difficult relationship. We argue a lot. We recently moved to a new property closer to where we work and I’ve been enjoying not commuting as it’s making each day easier.

Since we moved has a friend who is local and he started to go out more and more around 2 up to 3 times a week. I’ve therefore been feeling lonely and feeling sad. He also comes back later than he says he will, makes plans last minute and has let me down about going out.

The other day he was too hungover to meet me for coffee, then the following night I looked after his son. He said he would be out for a few hours and left at 2pm. He came back at 9pm. I was upset the next day and told him he’s the only thing in my life making me sad and stressed. I also lost my Grandmother on Christmas Eve so I’ve wanted his company and support.

He then said he wants to start sleeping in different rooms and he can’t make me happy, he can’t give me what I want.

My partner cheated on me 2 years ago and it’s been hard for me to trust him, and to deal with what he’s done to me. It’s had such a negative affect on me.

I’m also worried about what will happen to him if we do split and his son as I care for them both a lot. I also can’t say anything to my Dad yet as he’s upset over losing his mother, I’ve told my Mum and she’s disappointed for me but supportive. I’ve also told my bother who I’m close with. And I have a close friend I’ve told.

But I’m absolutely devastated, just broken. We’ve got so much invested in each other and I’m 31 and don’t want to be on my own.

I’ve been crying for 2 days and haven’t been sleeping or eating properly. We might not be able to get out of our new tenancy agreement which makes it all so much more difficult. I feel so alone and stressed and sad.
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973741 tn?1342346373
Sweetie, I'm sorry.  I know it hurts.  I'm going to just be honest here.  He's not much of a catch, hon.  You won't be alone or anymore lonely than you are now.  STarting over is an opportunity to eventually have what you want in life.  Not right away.  You have things to discover about yourself.  Understanding why you put up with a guy like this for so long is important.  You deserve better than him.  He's cheated, he goes out all the time, he's a crummy dad (neglectful at the very least), can't drive, argues with you, disrespects you, takes you for granted and your future is bleak.  You've stayed a long time under these circumstances when someone with higher expectations in a partner would have been long gone.  Why don't you have higher expectations?  This is a serious question with no judgment.  You should think about why you settle for less with this guy.

Moving on is in your best interest.  We are here to support you.  hugs
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