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Avatar universal

Is he playing games???

Hi all

I posted on here a wee while back but forgot my password so have had to change my name (oopsy)

Well me and my partner were together for 3 years and heres the basic:

He was sleeping with his ex for 2 months behind my back

Became lovely and we moved in together

Had 2 and a half wonderful years

He told me he didnt love me in march

I had a miscarriage in april and he accused me of having cheated on him (hes been my ONLY partner)

went to hopsital for an op and with a cancer scare in may, he didnt come

slept with my best friend

slept with someone else (all the while still sleeping with me)

gave me an sti

went on holiday with the boys and slept with 2 further girls

came back and was lovely again

ignored me for weeks

but now............. 9 months on i still love him and we still see each other on a weekly basis.

He ignores me for days then comes to stay and is perfect.

Well last night he kissed my friend and i hit him

now he's ignoring me again. i know this sounds really silly and childish but if he hates me as he says he does and if he never wants to speak to me again why doe he keep coming back??

I want him to want me and only me how do i do that????
22 Responses
Avatar universal
   Why are you allowing this do you have any self respect your being used.  With his track record its not going to get better.  Move on he is a jerk with a capita l J   You must be pretty young to need a anser for this.  He's not that into you find someone who is.
Avatar universal
when he's nice its like hes back to his old loving self and he makes me so happy.

He can come round and do all of ther cute little things he used to do just to make me smile.

I thought maybe after all the stuff he's said about me and after how much he's hurt me hes maybe just too darn proud to admit he still has feelings for me?

If he doesnt care for me why wont he just let me move on?
Avatar universal
23 and 24.

Hes my first partner and i know i sound stupid and immatture but i never ever thought he could hurt me.

He did and he apologised and iv forgiven him for that. When i asked him why he rubbed my nose in it last night he replied "you can see who you want and i can see who i want, get a grip"

And i know you guys will tell me to "get a grip" but i really feel so confused and at first i thought it was me and i saw a counsellor after the miscarriage etc but i can explain how much like jekyll and hyde he is.

I have never played games with him and am a well educated and level headed kinda girl who's just got herself in a bit of a rut.

My friends tell me to ignore him until he either leaves me alone or admits how he feels and commits but will this work????

Avatar universal
I just dont know if i can bring myself to say goodbye to the only guy ive ever loved, the guy who promised he'd hold my hand forever.

I know im making a fool of myself but how do i do it?

Will he ever realise his mistake or is this how he expects it to be forever?
Avatar universal
u've gotten some damn good advice from the women here....Eleanor Roosevelt said No one takes advantage of u minus ur consent.....he has no respect for u or any woman for that matter.....miscarriage,std,screwing ur friends/others..this dude is a major piece of ****!gather whats left of ur self respect and MOVE THE HELL ON!
212795 tn?1194952574
Do yourself a favor and stop being this man's doormat.  He treats you very bad.  People do not usually treat a woman like **** and then decide to put her back on a pedestel.  He let you know last night that you are not a couple.  So tell him to kiss your *** next time he comes around, and move on.  You deserve more than he is willing to give you.  I hope you got treatment for your std.  You will meet someone who can love you, and understands you.  unfortunately, it will NEVER be this guy.  The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will start feeling better long term and find a man who will treat you like a lady.
100019 tn?1335919717
How stupid are you?
177641 tn?1189755837
If you keep holding on to the only man you've ever loved, you're never going to see the new one. Do you ever think about how many BETTER relationships you've been throwing down the tubes because you've been so fixated on this one person. I agree with the previous posters - he's using you for backup sex. You and you alone are letting him use you - that means you and you alone can stop this from happening again and again.

lollipop, as far as he's concerned what mistake is he making? He smartens up for a couple days and you sleep with him. He isn't making any mistakes - he's getting exactly what he wants from you. And one day when in all his sexual escapades, he does meet a girl he really wants to settle down with, where's that going to leave you?
Avatar universal
OK OK OK i know hes making a fool of me.

I found our last week im pregnant, im not sure of exact dates yet but doc reckons around 9 weeks.

I have booked a termination for 9 days time.

Do i tell him or just vow never to speak to him again?
212795 tn?1194952574
Your second abortion with this guy.  It's not a form of birth control, lolli.  I think you have bigger issues than whether or not you talk to this guy again.  
100019 tn?1335919717
think long and hard about this abortion.  You may not think twice now, but 20 years from now  I guarantee you'll wake up every morning crying for the child you murdered.  You won't be able to forget her or him. Menopause will make it much much worse.

At least with adoption your giving it chance at life.  I would take your baby in a heart beat and do everything in the world for it that I wasn't able to do for mine.
Avatar universal


You have given this man every reason to keep doing this to you. Stop allowing him back.
Do you really like how this feels? Get a real man.

Do with your body what you will, it is your decision and your body. Other's have no right to "gaurantee" your guilt. Your body is none of their business.
Avatar universal
I thought you were all religious on the gay affair post--what--with your "spiritual obligation" of the wife to forgive the gay affair.....

What you said:
"How stupid are you?"
100019 tn?1335919717
I still believe if you claim to be a Christian you have an obligation to forgive.  We're forgiven with the same measure we forgive.

Be that as it may ... I stand by my comment how stupid are you?  And if need be repeat it to you.

Besides - reread the original post.  They aren't even married.  What kind of a train wreck would that be if she said I do to this loser?
Avatar universal
The only reason I responded to your comment is because this board is for placing questions and concerns--it is not for calling people names or denigrating them.
100019 tn?1335919717
maybe....but sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade.
377600 tn?1225163436
Wow.
"maybe....but sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade. "

I looked you up to see if you were so great.  Since you like calling people names on here-I'm not as nice as svik.

You said you are married to a man who has been married before.  A man who is divorced.
Well. I'm Catholic, and in Catholicism that is called adultery.  You can't marry a divorced person and take communion because it is a mortal sin--unless granted an annulment.

Since you like throwing stones and calling spades:

You are an old adulteress windbag!

Lollipop

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.  Please respect yourself more and find a man who will support you and love you.  A man who doesn't just talk about loving you and then gets with everyone he can.
Get tested for Stds to make sure. you are still healthy.  And don't take him back.  You can do better and you are still young with a long life ahead of you.

Avatar universal
u need to cease and desist ur religious judging and throwing stones urself.....calling Mrs.O an adulteress windbag is not very Catholic of u u best get urself 2 confession...its rather hypocritical...speaking of adultery how about all those Catholic priests in the Good Old Boys Cult of Power and Secrecy who sexually molested loads of people over the years?what do u call that?I had 12 years of Catholic school myself.Glad i divorced myself from them in the 3rd grade.
377600 tn?1225163436
I was writing to her because she called people losers and her posts are religious and judgmental.  I do not use my religion to look down on people, but she does so I was showing her a taste of what that feels like.

BTW, my husband is not even of a western religion as he is Asian so bark up someone else's tree about rigid Catholics.

I know my stones being married to a non-Catholic--thank you very much:)

377600 tn?1225163436
I also agree with the Pope who said that anyone who lives a just life-even if they are non-Christians will go to heaven.

There are plenty of pervert and adulterous preachers in the Protestant ranks.  I have visited protestant churches and have protestant friends.  

She says she can call a spade a spade--so why can't I?

And why are you interfering?

Oh, probably because you had twelve years of Catholic school but divorced them in the third grade--makes a lot of sense.
Avatar universal
thank u for ur comment.....if someone is worth making up to i will...ui like the word apologize but i don't owe anyone one here.someone needs to go take an anger management class or learn relaxation techniques from their Asian spouse!
Avatar universal
thank u girl..i dig urs 2!we all know anger management..it is really common sense.....its just that folks don't count to 10 and think about what they say b4 it flys outta their mouths til later and then go oops i did it again!cardio class with a 33 yr.old kickboxer making my 52 yr.old carcass move and move fast is my AM!:)poor lollipop she gotta a lot to learn in this world about life and men!
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