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Avatar universal

Should I just move on?

I've had a girlfriend for the last two years who I love dearly and she loves me just as much. However there is a slight problem, we are both from two different countries and met while she was living abroad in my country. She recently returned to her home country where she was going to get abit more work experience In her field and I was gonna move over there to be with her and then the final plan was to apply for a visa for her and return to my country. However just before I started organizing to make my move over (only 3 weeks after we were last together in person) she told me that she didn't want me to move over there because she didn't want to leave again due to missing her family too much. I was completely shattered. Especially by the fact that she doesn't want me to even try to live over there because she knows that I won't be happy! I'm just completely lost now and feel clueless as to what to do. Do I hope that maybe she will change her mind as it's only been such a short period of time? Or do I let her go which will be extremely painful and such a shame.
6 Responses
Avatar universal
Your last question was

....or do I let Her go which will be extremely painful and such a shame.

You MUST let Her go if that is what She wants.  If You go over anyway, that is stalking Her.

Sorry for the pain (and the "shame") but You have no choice but to accept Her decision.

You will love again.  This I know is true

GoodLuck
Avatar universal
Agree with Tink.  Sounds like the decision is already made for you.  She is letting you know she doesn't want what you want.  Good thing she told you that before you moved there, nevertheless I am sure you are upset and hurting.  

Unfortunately these things happen and it is devastating, but you will get through this.

I wouldn't recommend putting your life on hold waiting for her to change her mind.  Maybe she will; maybe she won't.  Wouldn't recommend moving to another country solely for the sake of a gf either.
973741 tn?1342346373
COMMUNITY LEADER
Yes, I agree with both tink and londres.  The fact is that she has said she wants to end this.  She is seeing something that is a red flag for her. That you both are from different countries/cultures and that one of you would always be sacrificing to be with the other and she doesn't want that.  She is saying this is a deal breaker for her and she doesn't want to continue.  good luck
15394896 tn?1468598227
LET HER GO!!!world is full of love and beautiful girls:)
Avatar universal
Thank you for your replys. well it was almost a year ago that I posted that. It's been a hard road and I'm still not there completely to be honest. She moved on quite quickly and it still hurts to think about. i guess what hurt the most is how fast she could move on and have a new bf etc while I'm still struggling. There were  instances where I swear she would do things to mess with me like telling mutual friends stuff about her new relationship and stuff that she knew I would hear about and putting a couple pic up on the only communication app that we would use. But then i think why would she do this to me? She was the one that broke up with me and said i did nothing wrong. Why would she want to make me suffer more? That's just evil or is she that ignorant. I guess this is just me venting now haha. On the positive side of things I'm definately a lot better than i was 6 months ago. It's just taking forever :(. I've definately accepted it's over and I wouldn't  take her back if it that was to happen, not after the hurt she's caused me. There just seems to be something stopping me from that final stage of getting over it. I guess I'll just have to wait alil longer. Peace out.
Avatar universal
I would love to help you man, but a country to county relationship takes a whole lot of patience and love and trust.
How old is this girl, and what region of the planet is she from?   It would give some insight to what is really the underlying problem.
I do not think it is 100% you, she has returned to her roots, and wishes to stay there.  That is fine, now return to YOUR roots and LIVE there.
Country to country relationships are very EXPENSIVE and again require very much trust. The trust is built into your relationship.  Why did she return to her country? That would be the first issue that I would figure out. While that happens, keep your ears and eyes open for a woman who lives in your country.  Build your self esteem, build your confidence, these are the virtures that most women looking to get into and stay in a relationship are looking for.
Thank God you didn't get married.\
J,
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