What do i do now?

[Ahsoquel]

Sometimes the circumstances of a break-up and the animosity that men who are at this personal identy stage overide accountability or responsibility for the havoc it wrecks on so many others, they tend to be otherwise entertained.  

Now i'm waking up to the fact that i think my husband is demented enoungh to try and make me sell this property nd split it.  I've got to admit that i haven't been taking it well and i've said and done things that i'm not proud of, i think at that boiling point you are relieved of the burden and can move forward to the resolution and acceptance of what's happening.

Today i spent most of the day fine tuning the documents on 'The List'.  i borrowed a digital camera from my brother and going to take pictures and inventory his tools and the shop stuff.  i have the recipts for at least 90% of the stuff in there.  He liked his tools.  It's a way for him to make a living, he has skills, he's only 54, he can find a job in Los Vegas and settle into his life there.  Experience the things he's missed since he married me when he was only 23, just out of the Marine Corps.  It's going to take a pretty big truck to haul that stuff off. i just hope he does it soon because i hate it hanging over my head.\

Question:  What do i do now to protect myself?  

[Londres70]

Protecting yourself as far as assets?  

You need to be obtaining a lawyer ASAP to fully know and understand your rights in regards to property/assets.

[Ahsoquel]

A lawyer would be nice but there is no money for a lawyer.  I seriously doubt that he will hire one either, unless his girlfriend (my niece) gives him the money, she has money.  Both of those people like lavish things, and at this moment are at Deer Village Resort in Park City, UT.  i can just image what that must cost.

i have a law degree (not that its ever done me much good, since i worked for him for the last 30 years.  i need to put all of the paperwork in perfect order and ready to discuss it in front of the Judge.  There are some documents i still need though, but i'll get them, i know how.

All day today i did the final purge of anything him from the house.  He wouldn't tell me the safe combination but i found the paper on the safe in my files and it had the combo on it.  Birth Certificate, SS card, Military papers, a letter from his mother.  there was nothing else in it except for my documents and our marriage certificate, those i kept.  The coat closet was next, i never realized how many coats he had.  There must be 5 or 6 in the trailer he's supposed to be taking.  There was 14 coats !  it sure made some nice room in my coat closet.  I thought about giving one to each of my sons but i don't think they'd take it.  
  so the final purge continues.   i think i'll feel better afterward.  move on moveon moveon...

[elvy66]

You go girl, the eveyr day he said the I dont love you speech I copied everything in  the filing cabinet and in the office.  I bet he didn't think I would be that smart, then I went out and brought an external modem and copied everything from his computer and then deleted everything on there.....I am in army mode and until settlement I will stay in that mode. Becasue if I not in army mode I made soften and give him something back and that can not happen......we have 590 000 dollars in assets and he wants me to have 40 000 well that is fair.....NOT.... I will fight until I get half or we both end up with nothing.......his choice...we both came into this marriage with nothing and we will both go out with half or nothing......so remember the army mode....

[Londres70]

Well, definitely use what legal knowledge you can, however, be careful because laws regarding property and assets change periodically and you may not be aware of these changes because you aren't a practicing lawyer dealing with property/assets laws.  

You have a law degree?  That's a shame you weren't able to use it.  If you are able to pull your own defense together in regards to your divorce I am confident you could find a job related to law somewhere.  Age and experience is against you, but the possibility is NOT totally "out of the question."

What a pig!  He is with your niece; disgusting.  Honey, you didn't do anything wrong for him to leave; this man is obviously trying to live out some fantasy of his.  The only thing you should have done that you didn't do was pursue a career in law.  

Sometimes we women made others the center of everything and forget about us. Then when situations such as divorce are thrown at us we come to realize we lost ourselves along the way.  Now, it is your task to find "you" again and "your way."  

Keep us posted.