Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Your opinion please I’m so confused

So I met this guy on a dating site shortly after coming out of a brief relationship I left the dating site as in the most non big headed way I was overwhelmed but he kept messaging me on my social media, he became really good friend and we spoke of all sorts and text eachother 24/7 exchanging 90k messages and opened up to eachother . I really didn’t find him attractive at all but how similar we were shocked me we had the same sense of humour. We both agreed we connected so well and we were the same person. He had been single for six years which was a massive shock for me , he said he started to develop feelings , we text about marriage kids all sorts I started to really like him one night we spent 5 hours on the phone to eachother!!! . If i didn’t reply to his texts he would send about 8 in a row until I did . I am going to Ibiza with my friends and he booked the exact same flight and hotel with his friends which shocked me a bit but at the time i thought wow he must like me ! I was nervous to meet him because I do modelling a lot of my social media is of my magazine shoots and I thought what If he does not fancy me in person but after four months of talking constantly we decided to meet up , we had a nice afternoon he didn’t give much away as to whether he liked me but I felt it went well , then we met up and slept together after that it seemed it was a bit weird for a few days I don’t know why we both felt awkward . Then he said some weird things like he knows I used to text men same time as him (I did at the beginning as meeting on a dating site assumed he did the same, I was quite open about benign unsure where my head was at and that I thought neither of us had agreed to put our eggs in one basket) he said I should go meet other men and he will still be my friend. I took it that he didn’t like me So we had a bit of a falling out I was hurt he said that and we argued he said some nasty things like I looked a mess when he saw me and should make more of an effort I’m a sl.ut etc . After our fall out I did meet someone else for a drink on his advice , he quickly then came back onto me and asked me to meet him again and we both agreed to stop talking to other people until we had spent a weekend together , we then got back texting and calling loads and I mean 24/7. I met him and spent weekend with him. After that weekend the following day I went to afternoon tea with my mum and he rang me constantly like show me who your with send me a picture, it was my mum and we got in a nasty fight, I think he was trying to accuse me of being untrustworthy . Day after that I went to a concert with my friends in London and he said he knew I’d run off to London as I’m a tramp and he called me vile names rang me screaming at me Saïd about me texting men and the drink I went on with that guy and im so untrustworthy he’d never be with someone like me - we agreed to cut ties asI was in tears with his harsh words. The week after cutting ties he text me some small talk about when we both go Ibiza same time and I caved and told him how much I missed him etc he kinda enjoyed it and said it’s a mature decision I don’t follow him on social media as I wouldn’t want to see it. That hurt me so much so I told him to just stop speaking to me. Week after that he sent me a picture of a film we watched together, I ignored it, week after that he sent me a text message at 2am but then deleted it before I got to read it so I messaged him back asking what he had sent as it bothered me and he never replied and that was three weeks ago I haven’t heard from him since . I can’t understand why it went so wrong and spend hours a day wracking my brain, i was wrong for meeting another man for a drink but he said I should and i wanted to prove a point !  I’m devastated we spoke every second of the day it’s a major loss and void. My friends tell me his since back on dating sites which is tearing me in bits. Our connection was unreal! Any advice to get over this would be great!!!!
(I’ve since changed my flights to Ibiza to week after unbeknown to him he will still expect me to be out there same time in June) worth nothing I’m 30 and he is 38.
1 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
207091 tn?1337709493
This is really late, and I'm sorry for that.

I don't know what's happened since you posted, but there are huge red flags here. He is texting you rapidly if you don't reply, pestering you about who you're with - like, you can't have time with your mother uninterrupted?, follows you on trips, calls you a tramp and other vile names.

However good the "connection" is, he's abusive.

If you went for a drink with another man, he can choose to not be with you, or for you all to decide to once again be exclusive. He doesn't have the right to call you those names. Ever.

If it's still relevant, tell your friends to not update you on his dating site activity, and spend your time working out why you are still wanting to be with someone who treats you this way. You truly deserve so much better.

Let us know what's been happening.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Divorce & Breakups Community

Top Relationships Answerers
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.