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Avatar universal

loving the wrong person

hi i'm carene, 20. my boyfriend is 29, married, with one kid. i just found out his status recently. i know, he lied his status because he love me and he was just afraid that i will leave him. he never cheated on me but he lied his status. he left his family, and planning to annul their marriage but unfortunately, her wife is overseas. i love him very much and i want to marry him.. we're 2 years already that's why i have a hard time deciding. will I going to trust him again? will i still continue our relationship? what will i follow? my mind or my heart? please help!!!
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1177879 tn?1266463468
what does your mind say?and your heart?...follow your heart if love this man let love hold you
Helpful - 0
145992 tn?1341345074
Yeah forget about his wife and child, because their feelings don't matter.  Sometimes love shouldn't lead us but our heads.  Because love can blind us.  Be smart and cautious and also do unto others as you would want done to you.  
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145992 tn?1341345074
Just in case it's not recognized my first sentence was sarcasm.  
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1177879 tn?1266463468
it sounded like the marriage was over but they never got divorced? but they wernt together?
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145992 tn?1341345074
She's posting on the relationship forum also.  His wife is overseas, she said that they have been apart for 3 years but have a 7 year old daughter together.  But my biggest question is he lied to her for 2 years, what time was he spending with his child?  If he abandoned his wife and child than what kind of man does that make him?  What if he were to do it to her in the future?  There is a lot to think here, because he wasn't upfront and honest about his situation.  Why lie about a wife and child?  If he's been separated one whole year before he met her, than what would be the problem with being honest from the beginning?  There is something else going on here.
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Avatar universal
yeah, they weren't together since we're together. they're marriage is not working anymore because the wife gave up on him already before we met. and my boyfriend let her go and now, the wife is trying to get him back now that she found out that she have a girlfriend.
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Avatar universal
he lied, because he is not confident. he's thinking that who's educated woman would want a married man. i will not going to love him if i know his status on the first place. but now, 2 years together, really hard to let go.
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Avatar universal
my boyfriend is working in other city, just beside my city. he visits his daughter every holiday.
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Avatar universal
Your a young attractive girl. My suggestion to you is leave the guy alone. Move on in ur life. A relationship is hard enough to manage. Much less one that there isnt trust to begin with. Find u a young unmarried man and fall in love. Good Luck and God Bless u.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
One day you will be the 'wife' maybe with a child.  He will treat you the same way -  that is how it works. You should always look at how a man has treated his previous partner.  When he gets his next girlfriend, I hope you will feel Ok about being in the 'wife' position.
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Avatar universal
Ok I'm gonna be as real as it gets....  I am currently on the other side of this situation. I am the wife that has the kid and I am overseas. I'm Japan...Military. It is hard to get a divorce I am here and he is in the states. And with the child involved it's even more harder. That won't be resolved until I get to the states as far as custody goes. Anyways I know my ex wants to date and I have no problem with that. I myself am with someone who is a good friend to me. And I could only wishthe same for my ex. He is a good guy but we were not cut out for each other. If it makes you feel better ask him to call her in front of you and tell him you want him to tell her about the 2 of you. The thing youhave to think about now is if you can trust him... How did you find out? Did he tell you. I can admit it is hard telling the other person. It was hard for me too. Whewww!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hi...last time his wife, sent him an e-mail.. and i can access his e-mail...and i ask him to send her back a message and he did. in front of me, he sent her messages that he doesn't want her anymore and he's better of without her... he tells good things about me , that i'm far better than her. and he told her also that he loves me and he want to live the rest of his life with me bec. he said i'm his happiness. and the wife never reply and has gave up. after that, she don't send me messages anymore. he told his mpother also that she don't love the wife anymore even before he met me. and tell the mother also that, he will be very happy if the wife is gone and got find a new man. on the first place, i dunno about his status. and it's not my fault. i'm not a home wrecker! i'm not the one who decided to be with me. i quote this message of him to his mother. " EVEN IF CARENE WILL BROKE UP WITH ME, WHATEVER HER DECISION, I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO HER AND FIX ALL THE THINGS. WE SPENT A LOT OF YEARS TO WORK ON OUR MARRIAGE AND TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER, BUT IT NEVER WORKED. I KNOW ALL OF YOU IS AFFECTED BUT WE ALWAYS TRIED BEFORE AND STILL THE RESULT IS THE SAME. WE ALWAYS FIGHT. MY HAPPINESS IS CARENE AND MY DAUGHTER. PLEASE DO UNDERSTAND.AND I DON'T WANT HER TO LEAVE ME. PLEASE DON'T BLAME HER, IT'S ALL MY FAULT, I DON'T TELL HER ABOUT MY STATUS."  his mother even apologized to me about this mess and tell me some about the marriage already  of the two. and she gave up already on helping and pleasing him to fix the marriage but my boyfriend has already gave up EVEN BEFORE WE MET. but now, i'm still on the deciding process.. i can't decide but i really. really love him. i gave everything to him.. I DUNNO (SIGH)
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