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Avatar universal

Parents rights........If you could make change.

Every increase or decrease in rights that has taken deep root in our society has, ideally taken place so gradually that the change is not often noticed.

In Illinois I and several others have managed to basically find some laws that are not being enforced on  an essentially state basis regarding visitation interference.

We have possibly even found several state reps, and more importantly members of their staff who are willing to consider legislation regarding these and other issues.

So here is my premise and question; If we as parents and grandparents are going to slowlyh fight to make changes so gradually  in support of truly equal parenting, DNA testing at birth, making it a felony to knowingly falsify parentage on birth control certificates etc. What do you think the most important issues are and what would be the most innocuous way that you would go about to give children full access to both parents heritage?
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145992 tn?1341345074
I don't even know how to answer your question because my fiance is constantly battling his ex wife over everything.  He has every other weekend, with every other holiday and we are lucky if we get to see his daughter on one holiday and her mom constantly cancels our visits with her.  We've gone to court and the judge always takes her side, even if it is a ridiculous request.  It's quite irritating.  So I don't know when fathers will get more rights.  I think it's a beautiful thing when fathers show an interest in being in their children's life.  I would never ever use my son to hurt his father.  He knows I wouldn't either.  My son deserves to have his father in his life.
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Avatar universal
If you could change one thing in the custody arrangement what rule, procedure would it be (have been).

What thing, if you could change it, do you feel would make the situation more equitable and better for the child.
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Avatar universal
I think it is time to look at the childs rights. If the adults come together long enough to have a child, then both people are responsible for the financial,emotional and future well being of the child/children that they brought into the world. I am thinking in todays society that the DNA test should be made a part of the childs birth, clarifying who the parents are. Custody and visitation issues should be decided on ,what is best for the child and not the parents, and both parties should have to pay child support, carry medical insurance, and I also think both parents should be restricted to a certain distance away from each other, and not allowed to move out of state, for example,  in order to ensure that the child can have access to both parents on a daily basis if needed.  I think in stead of disrupting the childs life, the parents should be disrupted in order to make the childs life more stable.

Personally, I think the child should be allowed to stay in one home, one school, one church, one community and it is the parents who should alternate in the home for the visitation or co parenting instead of the child going from house to house? I would bet that this one thing would keep more families together. I also bet parents would not like to do that anymore than their children like being passed around from house to house. But in my opinion, this is the only fair thing to do in the interest of the kids.

Can you tell I am old school?

Good!

It is time for people to realize that when they lay down with someone and have a child, that at that time the most important responsibility is raising that child, not using it to play tug of war or remove the other parent from the childs life because the relationship didnt work. If both parents do not cooperate or allow the visitation, financial penalties should be stiff and swift. Money talks, BS walks.
Helpful - 0
145992 tn?1341345074
I wish judges would see when a mother is being completely controlling and unfair....if a father is going to court it shows he gives a ****.  It got to the point where he would almost give up and not even bother fighting because he was discouraged.  I think more people need to be held accountable for interferring with visitation.  But really in our situation we are dealing with a irrational, unreasonable woman who thinks of herself above her child.  She always thinks or claims she is doing things that are best for her daughter but in all reality it's not about the daughter it's about her total need for control.  And her ways of manipulating things so she can convince her daughter that her father is a low life loser who doesn't care.  That has been her goal for the longest.  Go read some of my journal entries and you can see what we're dealing with.
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