Okay, this community has been helpful to me in my recovery, I am grateful for Zoe responding to my first question at the beginning of my recovery from Anorexia, Bulimia and Over exercising for 11 years. I am fighting strong this time, so far I am doing awesome. I have never come this far in my life, and i know i am going to make it this time. I am going to overcome it all.
Just some background info: I am abstaining from working out, to heal my addiction to it, and have been working on relaxation, and self awareness, and positive thinking. Positive thinking, and retraining my thoughts is the only reason i have come this far.
I allow myself to only do some cardio, because without it my digestion is slow and painful. Truthfully in all, abstaining from working out probably means i work out like a normal person now. It's not like i am doing nothing, i still end up working out, but the most i do now, is HIIT (high intensity interval training) for under 20 minutes, meaning i skip rope or run really fast for 20 minutes until i am about to pass out, then i stop and do nothing for the rest of the day, and for me, that is a huge accomplishment because before it was 24/7 of working out.
My ED routine was anorexia by day, working out excessively, and binger at night, then purge, then overdose on laxatives.
It has been a few weeks of reintroducing food. I am struggling with excruciating pain and major bloating.
I was a hardcore laxative abuser. I am now not taking any laxatives, and i think i might have cut down on them too fast, although i did reduce them. Because my insides are painful. The bloating is really bad.
I am taking a huge list of vitamins,I think i have all the fiber, veggies and fruit and vitamins anyone can tell me about, enzymes, and on prescription drug Motilia that is useful to help anorexic people reintroduce food.
I am also drinking huge amounts of water.
But within the first few days of reintroducing food and eating regularly and normally, I gained 10 pounds. I know this can't possibly be weight gain due to fat. But it's messing with my mind. The thing I am worried about, is it is probably due to constipation or water retention.
I read about the horrible withdrawal symptoms of laxatives, and i am scared sh!tless. No wonder ed patients who abuse laxatives don't want to stop. It causes temporary weight gain and such.
What I am worried about, is not being able to take a bowel movement. I do, every day, but only small pitiful amounts. I can't get it all out. I don't even feel constipated, it's just that, things arent moving.
And my stomach remains huge and solid bloated like a brick.
The sharp pains have ceased down quite a bit from when i started, but they are still there. It is mainly the bloating I am worried about. I also get periods of nausea. Will it go away, or am i going to be stuck like this?
I know my habits of ED behaviour were drastic and extreme, so i'm worried i damaged the function of my insides.
I just weighed myself right now to make sure and i have gone up. It CANT be weight gain, because everyone says i have not gained weight. And also, i have been eating regularily, healthy, there's no way it can be from weight gain.
My normal weight is always 120 and fluctuates up to 125. I don't think i was underweight. I looked at a healthy weight. When I checked a few days before starting eating it was, 135. Now it is at 140, after only a few weeks. I am really worried. Is that amount of weight gain normal for constipation and laxative withdrawal? Or am i really gaining weight? And if it's simply due to constipation, that can't be healthy can it? HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO GO ON FOR? I am also worried about the fluid retention getting worse.
(I don't think my body is moving up to a normal weight for me, because 120 - 125 seemed like a normal weight for me. My height is 5'8, and i had lots of muscle and was really healthy in a physical activity aspect. I also had Bulimia, so i overate a lot more than i am now, and i was at 120 for many, many years. I managed to keep at a stable weight for a very long time.)
I really don't know what to do, and my doctor isn't any help at all. He doesn't know anything about eating disorders and neither does my community.
I am also realizing my energy levels are going down. I thought i was supposed to be feeling more healthy, but instead i feel more sick. Is that normal? For example I just went on a bike ride, short distance, and when i got back it felt like a classic anorexia, bulimic attack of low potassium levels, i was all shaky, weak just like way back in the bad days when i had one eating disorder at a time (i mean i used to go in cycles of just anorexia, then cycles of just bulimia, then cycles of overeating, then back to the beginning but for the last many years i have somehow stabilized three eating disorders at once which probably isn't good either but not as extreme and i didn't get many health problems that way)... but the thing is, i've been eating healthily, regularly, and getting all my nutrients, more hydrated than i have ever been in my life, so why am i feeling unhealthy? I also had no strength on the bike ride, i had to stop and catch my breath 6 times. I also felt my chest becoming heavy. This is very unnatural for me, since i am very strong, and my endurance is very high.
I also want to know, if going on a cleanse to clean my liver and colon and bowels would be a good thing? (A cleanse sticking to my meal plan and not restricting food, just taking cleansing pills) Is that good for my digestive system, or is it a huge NO NO for people overcoming eating disorders and especially laxative abuse? I have read that some cleanses seem similar to laxatives in the first place, so it doesn't seem like it would be a good thing, but a natural path woman told me i should consider it?
Any help would be appreciated :)