I just found out two weeks ago I was pregnant, for the first time. I couldn't have been happier. For once in my life, I felt like I had a purpose, I had a path laid out right in front of me and my life had a meaning after all. With my history of PID, I pushed for an early ultrasound. Everyone around me called it paranoia, but I called it concern. I had that ultrasound yesterday. As much as I worried about and feared an ectopic pregnancy, nothing prepared me for the moment those words came from the nurse's lips. I was rushed to emergency surgery, and in what seemed like a foggy flash, I was left with bandages on my stomach, one less fallopian tube, and no baby to show for it. I feel empty, I feel broken, and I feel alone. I'm not the only one out there, this I know. I feel like I never got the chance to say goodbye, but even worse, I never even got the chance to say hello. This is my story and this is my first step towards healing. If anyone else has a story from their experience with ectopic pregnancies or miscarriages, I would love to hear it. And especially if anyone else out there is ttc or has had a successful pregnancy after an ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage.
Your story hit so close to home it was scary. February 28th, 2009 my husband and I found out I was pregnant after 3 years of TTC. We were overjoyed...our life seemed perfect but I too, couldnt shake the fact that something could be wrong, I had no pain, no spotting nothing like the pain I heard that would have. I called my OB to get me in early, but they said as long as I wasnt spotting I was fine, just things moving around. It wasnt until Friday March 5th, when I had my ultrasound till I experienced the horrilbe pain I had heard about. I lost one tube and have a c-section scar with nothing to show for it. My husband and I got the go ahead in August of 2009 to start trying again, my other tube was clear. After TTC for 6 months we decided to go to a fertility clinic because we thought my one tube just wasnt do its job. After numerous tests we we're told there was no reason we couldnt get pregnant so we opted to do IUI. We did our first round of IUI March 26th and just found out on Friday that it took...we got a BFP! Although I am worried about another ecoptic I am hopefull and postive for a healthy pregnancy. I will start being monotired at 5 weeks due to my risk. I hope this helps you. You are in my prayers
It definitely helps to hear your story. Thank you so much for sharing it with me. And I'm so happy for you!! Just try to remain positive. Stress and worrying will only make things worse. Try to remember that right now everything is out of your hands so there's no point stressing over it. I know it's easier said than done because as much as I would LOVE to see a BFP, I know it would scare the hell out of me too. I'll definitely keep you in my thoughts and congratulations!!!
I am very sorry for your loss. I too just found out I was pregnant this past march and i was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy just three weeks ago. i had the methrotrexate injection and my HCG levels are still slowly coming down.
My boyfriend and I planted a small peach tree in my front lawn to remember the baby we will never hold. I understand your pain of loosing your baby. I believe with time and patience with yourself you will do better. No one says we have to forget, but go easy on yourself.
I have also been baking like crazy. It seems if I am cooking or baking I cannot think about what happened. I want to try again very badly but BF says no. We weren't trying when I got pregnant this time. It was a shock. But I was excited and a bit scared once I found out i was pregnant because I am a single mom of a 6 year old.
I guess when things happen that we cannot control it is very difficult. I have found that my friends are already weary of my baby woes, so I hope you at least have some good support.
I would try cooking, baking or planting a tree to remember your baby by.
I'm sorry for your loss as well. I know how painful it is and although it's been almost three months, I can't really say that it's gotten any easier. I've come to realize that this kind of pain will never really get better. But I'm okay with that. So just know that it's okay to be sad and not to feel guilty or dramatic when you find that you can't seem to overcome your loss and others are telling you it's time to move on. You can't just move on and no one will understand that unless they themselves have had this same exact thing happen to them. The hardest part is knowing that the beginnings of what would have been a beautiful baby was so healthy with it's little heart beating away, just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and the fact that I had no choice but to let the doctor end the beating heart forever is unbelievably painful. I love your idea about planting a tree. I think I might do that myself. I wish you had more support. It's hard without any support. I, myself, have friends and family who show concern but I still feel completely alone. Ever since I lost my baby, every single one of my friends (literally all of them) have announced that they were pregnant with their first. Just know that you're going to be sad, you'll have break-downs that seem to come out of nowhere, and you have every right to feel the way you do. Don't let anyone ever tell you that it's time to move on. Embrace your tears because they are the memory of someone who will never be forgotten. And good luck with your future plans in ttc.
BFP 03 healthy baby boy, 6 yr later we ttc again BFP 08 lossed baby girl at 20 wks.........totaly deverstated, 3 months later bfp ectopic in left tube emergancy surgery removed the baby & tube! 3 month after that BFP 09 miracle baby boy who is 12 wks tomorow, had an amazing consultant who help't me stay possitive & that I would get my wish.
I guess I'm just saying that it's possible yr time will come!! Its realy hard when every where u look every1 seem 2 b preg except u,just before I lossed my little girl my sister & wrk friend anounced that they were expecting me due in may them in june so u can c that it would have been horrible 4 me................then to have an ectopic on top of that just about finished us off but I never gave up hope.
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