I cannot answer your questions for you but i am basically in your same boat. I will not try IVF with my own eggs. History of several m/c and 41. 2 m/c in 20's. We are doing IUI with injectable, I am waitng to test 3/3 with 23 mature follies and then go from there. I can get pg but we m/c early.
I am seriously considering donor eggs,but like you, many questions. Many views and then there is the husbands perspective. Biology is not that big of a deal to me. I understand if it is for people, these are very complicated decisions and it is a life.
Your survey is great idea. The support of people on this site will give you different thoughts and ideas that you may not have thought of. I hope you get a great turn out. I will be watching and reading.
I wish you the best with your endeavor.
This is my first cycle using donor eggs, 4th overall plus 2 iuis. I am currently pregnant (6weeks today). I do not have any children. My donor has two sons, 2 &4 and had done one previous cycle right before ours. That cycle also resulted in a pregnancy and frozen embryos. Our cycle did not produce as many embryos and of the 9 retrieved only 4 fertilized and 2 were left for transfer of fair quality.
We did want similar backgrounds, education, physical traits. We didn't end up getting everything we thought we wanted just because it is so hard to "grab the good ones" while they're available. There were a total of around 100 donors but with my similar height, coloring etc there were maybe 10 and of those many were either on breaks or currently in a cycle and we didn't want to wait any longer. So keeping fingers and everything else crossed that this is it and that we have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy happy baby!
I am currently waiting to find out if my donor eggs worked. This was my donor's first cycle. They were able to retrieve 14 eggs. I split the cycle with another couple. 7 each. Other couple had 7 mature and that is all I know about those 7. Of my 7, 6 matured, 2 transferred 1 A+ 8 cell and B+ 8 cell. They froze the other 3 at 8 cell and quality 1 A and 2 B. I don't know why they didn't transfer both A quality for the fresh cycle. The decision to use our donor was based on similar educational background of the entire family as well as no outstanding health issues. We poured over the donors many hours at first because we were not to enthusiastic about them. Then when this donor became available we were very pleased and immediately chose her.
The only regret that I have, and I still cannot believe I did not look into this prior to starting the donor egg cycle, was that I did not review the SART report for my clinics donor cycle percentages. I have gone through IVF at two separate facilities and by the time we reached the donor egg decision I was so excited I didn't do my usual research (stupidly assumed that it was high regardless since it wasn't my poor quality eggs). They only have a 30% live birth rate for donor eggs. Even if I had done the donor egg I would have done a full cycle instead of splitting the precious eggs with another couple. I have since read other reports from clinics who have far superior rates compared to my clinic. Hope this helps.
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