Great! Let me know. I understand what you are going through completely. I get anxiety thinking about the once a week sex and sometimes I just want to get it over with so I don't have to think about it and feel guilty that I lack any ambition as well to do it.
I have to look around for a sex therapist in my area, I just don't want a male because I think that would make it worse for me.
Hey,
Thanks so much for your post.
I never had any issues before mid 2010. I have been with my partner since early 2010 and didn't suffer with anything at the beginning of our relationship nor during any previous relationships. It just seem to start one day and progressively got worse until it was unbearable and finally, after much stuff-around, I was diagnosed early 2012 and had the operation.
I know exactly what you mean about the relaxing for sex issue, the doctors said the same thing about my vagina closing itself up as soon as its being entered and it is an extremely hard to thing to work through. Unfortunately for me it has caused a lack of desire for foreplay and sex.
I will definitely try the vibrator thing. I will try and find that website and have a read it sounds really good. I never thought about hypnosis, but that might also definitely be worth trying as I am sick of not feeling like i want to be intimiate with my man and feeling an aversion to sex.
I was seeing a sex psychologist which seemed to help but didn't seem to push through the barriers completely. I am definitely ready to try something else.
Im definitely doing better than I was as we try and have sex at least 1 per week/fortnight. even if i have to force myself into it to begin with I always end up enjoying it :)
I agree that going slow is the best thing and not doing anything you dont feel confortable with.
Let me know houw you go with all those suggestions!
Did you have any of the sex issue before you were with the guy you are with?
A brief background on me.
I have Endo since I was 13 and was diagnosed 17yrs later.
It has always hurt to have sex and I mean always. Most of the time I would participate to please the guy but would cry during the entire thing because the pain was so excruciating. None of them really cared if I hurt as long as they got off.
Well my husband now was the only one that has been there and has been patient and understanding. It has been hard because the pain is so much to bare. I was told my vagina tenses as soon as it is being entered so I have to learn ways to relax that. I have not done that yet, but I think there is some sort of sexual therapy to help relax the vaginal muscles. I have yet to look into that yet.
I went to the Endometriosis Symposium in Toronto last year and there was a man named Larry Wurn who was from the Clear Passage Therapy who deals with women that have Endometriosis, Infertility, adhesions etc. I truly believe in his method of therapy and I urge you to check out the site and read up on it
I had a chance to talk to him about the sexual pain etc and he said I could have adhesions inside the vaginal wall and recommended I get a vibrator and not turn it on, and push it gently against the vaginal wall to break up the adhesions. I am sure it would be also a way to try yourself to relax while using it but not in a sexual form if you know what I mean.
Not sure if this is something you can try but it is worth a try.
I would also maybe try hypnotism which is what I will be trying next to try to relax when it comes to sex because I get tense right away.
The best is to go slow and do a lot of for play and don't rush.
I know this post is from last year but I would love to know how you are doing now.
Hey :)
I haven't had any significant pain for a while which is awesome but I was having acupuncture so maybe that was a help as well. I think the thing I am still struggling with a bit is the psychological aspect of intimacy leading to sex more than anything else but even that I think is getting better just trying to work through it and relax more :)
Thanks for checking up on me I really appreciate that :)
How are you doing?
Hi again :-) . Did u try swimming or homeotherapy , are u feeling better ?
Hi again :-) . Did u try swimming or homeotherapy , are u feeling better ?
Hi again ,
It helps with the pain . At least it makes me feel better .The pain does not dissapear but is milder .
Thanks so much Foutsos.
I really appreciate your help and suggestions. Swimming is interesting, would never have thought of that but how does that help?
Thanks for the support
Dear Friend ,
I had the same experience. For one year and after a lot of medical exams i was diagnosed with endo.During this it was very difficult to have sex with my boyfriend , he was also very supportive . I had my operation on 23rd of July and is still quite dificult to get back on the wagon as you said . I still feel some pain. Give sometime to your body.My doctor told me last week that the pain might never abandon my body. Try to relax and find ways to enjoy sex . In the beginning it's diffiicult especailly after surgery. It is the fear of pain during sex , the fear of the initial coming back even the fear of losing your boyfriend. I have the same conerns bur I try to be strong . It;s not the easiest thing but think that after so long you know what you have to deal with . If you are still in pain you can try homeopathy or swimming . It really helps .