Hi. I'd gladly talk with you - because I went in status in 2008 after a year of uncontrollable seizures. Do you mind if I kvetch? Like you, I had arguments with my neurologist. She thought I was "faking" my seizures, until I went to her office and had a seizure right in front of her. My anger comes from her not believing me, and then subsequently, at the hospital, the doctors put me in a coma. When I came out of it, I had amnesia, memory issues, fear......I didn't know the difference between reality and my dreams. I can kvetch more. I've been a guinea pig for about a year afterwards. I had slight post traumatic stress syndrome - the video surveillance and constant nursing care really stressed me out. I'm saying all of this not so much to compare stories with you, but I'm really just getting over my anger, fear, frustration and rage. I've never felt so powerless and victimized before - and I've had seizures for 15 years.
I had issues with drugs (I got a rash so severe that they transferred me to a second hospital). I was in the hospital for a month. So, if you want to complain, yell or just talk, I'm open to hearing and talking with you.
I can relate to the "being judged" aspect, and "being crazy." Some people won't know I'm having a seizure unless I tell them. It was hard for me to hear that my neurologist didn't believe me-when I was having seizures so badly that the hospital doctors believed I had to be put into a coma. I came *this* close to suing her...... but I won't bore you with that.
I had memory issues too. For me, it took the longest for me to sort out what were dreams, what was "real" (I'm referring to the months prior to and including the day I entered the hospital). It's been an incredible journey.