Erectile Dysfunction Community
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Avatar universal

My 19 year old fiancé has an erectile dysfunction

Hello, I recently got engaged and the wonderful man I am with has been unable to have sex because of an erectile dysfunction(keep on mind he is only 19) . We've been together for a long while. He says that he really wants to have sex but whenever we get down to almost doing the dirty deed, he goes soft. We do have foreplay and he stays hard when I give him oral. As soon as I ask him to put it in he tries but I can feel him go completely soft. I have tried to be patient with this kind of thing but I can't help but think that it's me. He reassures me that it's nothing to do on my part, but come on now I'm bound to be offended and hurt if my soulmate can't have sex with me. Yes we do have foreplay but most of the time when we try to have sex, neither one of us gets an orgasm because the mood is lost and I get quite upset. I am a woman with needs. I love him, I really do. I have had patients but when he tells me that he wants to so bad then doesn't do anything about it what am I suppose to do or think. I mean he doesn't have a size problem at all, he's actually quite large. Lady's and gentleman please help with advice and recommendations. Thank you for reading my rant.
12 Responses
134578 tn?1546634665
He should get a checkup and you should stop getting mad.  If you can't stop getting mad and his checkup doesn't give an answer (or change things) then you should look seriously at whether to get married.  If I had to guess, I'd hazard the notion that he is not very excited about getting married.  
134578 tn?1546634665
(But please don't get indignant if it turns out that is what's bothering him.  He's only 19, almost anyone that age would be uncertain about marriage.)
Avatar universal
He asked me without me making any kind of effort or pressure to get married. So I wouldn't understand if that's the problem
134578 tn?1546634665
Well, you could test the idea by just asking some day if he is having second thoughts.  Of course, you'd have to do that super-tactfully and carefully if he feels badly about having them [if he does].  Did he have erectile issues before you got engaged?
Avatar universal
Yes he has throughout our relationship. We haven't had sex yet.....
134578 tn?1546634665
Another couple of things that occur to me is that he either is closeted gay, or possibly that he has really emotional issues relating to sex.  (A friend of mine who have been abused as a boy told me later that when it came time to get interested in sex, he was a wreck.  "I felt like if you liked someone, then this awful thing would have to happen," he told me later.)  Anyway, do you know if your fiance ever had sex with anyone?
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