Avatar universal

20 y/o male - unsuccesful sex with 6 girls - paranoia


I am a 20 years old male can get flirty with women with relative ease. I had my first experience with a girl when I was  16.5. She gave me a ******* in an ally but my **** was dead. I think my penis hurt, I masturbated without exposing the purple tip of the penis enough.

I left her because I thought things wouldn't work; perhaps I was not attracted to this decent quality woman.

Next was someone I had feelings for a who rejected me after going between me and a friend of mine for a while. The one time I tried to have sex with her I suffered from ed. Perhaps sex or just blowsjobs hurt aswell, but I cannot remember properly. I remember immediately fearing I was gay, feeling completely terrible about it.

A year later a modelquality girl, 16 when I was 18, had a teencrush on me. Got a nonfull erection from her ******* and my penis because limp within seconds after penetrating her. Worried I am gay. This was also the last time I tried with this girl.

Then over the course of 2 years I lost potential sex partners because I spoke about my ed with them too soon. Then 4 months ago I met a desperate girl via Tinder. She was not the skinniest, smartest or most classy. Tried to have sex with her 1 time. Went ok when we did doggystyle. Then I went normal missionary with her legs in my neck but  my penis lost too much of its strength so we stopped. She had given me a ******* a week prior and I managed to *** for the first time in my life from a girl. I had abstained from masturbation for 5 days then.

Now I have met up with a girl. We went to the same high school and she had mentioned to an acquintaince of mine that she would 'do me'. Came across her on Tinder. She came to my place yesterday night. I took a small cialis pill and had abstained from masturbation for 7 days. Eventually initiated sex after I told her about my ed and she was very supportive about it. Though she was still mentioning her ex a lot who broke up with her 3.5 months ago. Her body was perfect, too good to be true, but she mentioned I wasn't hard enough when she tried to put on the condom. Tried it in the morning. Got hard from a bit of gentle kissing. She went out to put tampon out and have sex, but I only got super weak erections.

I am so worried. I put emotional baggage on a girl who is likely not to want it, good chance she just wants a rebound as she mentioned that she hates he has sex while she doesn't.

I feel terrible. Constantly worried I am gay. And about to likely lose yet another relationship or at least prevent one from being created. She is the most beautiful girk I have ever had. I don't know what to do anymore, went to urogolist 2 years ago and she kept mentioning performance anxoety but at this loint i dont know what else i can do anymore i feel so ficking ****
5 Responses
Avatar universal
trust me, you know when your gay, you arnt gay just magically. you know the instant you see a same sex, and your sexually and emotionally attracted.
If you watch porn/mb you might want to stop, if not it could be your social anxiety/stress causing ed, or it could be an medical issue.
Avatar universal
I hate to be nosey but I have an appointment with a urologist on the 24th. Could you elaborate on your story and how you resolved it. It may help someone it they had specifics. Thanks so much.
I think Helper015 can help you.  
Avatar universal
Hey, sure.  I'll give you a list of the different tests and treatments I had.

(1) Catheter put in the urethra with a camera at the end I think, which I think was to check for damage to the urethra.
(2) Ultrasound, to check blood flow - bloodflow on the right and left side, up and down, and at the head
(3) DICC (Dynamic Infusion Cavernosometry Cavernosography) - I'm not clear but this may have checked bloodflow in a little more detail, and may detect if there is any scarring
(4) A metal pad placed against the penis and slowly increased or decreased in temperature.  You say when you feel a temperature change.  I think this tests nerves/sensation.
(5) Infrared camera, to see, with an erection (post/during masturbation) if a significant amount of blood is going to the glans (head), or if instead you have cold glans.
(6) Penile Angiogram.  This is to get images of your arteries, see where any blockage(s) are, if they're localized, and if you have a healthy donor artery to use in bypass surgery.
(7) During the angiogram, I was also injected with something else to test for venous leak of the glans.

I had localized arterial blockages, scarring and venous leak.  All physical issues.  We did bypass surgery (or called revascularization surgery) to bypass one of the blockages.  And stem cell injections to address another blockage (by the stem cells growing blood vessels) and to address scarring and venous leak by the stem cells removing the scarring, restoring elasticity and rebuilding the penis.  My stem cells were harvested from my stomach fat and injected into my penis.  I also was injected with HGH (human growth hormones) in the weeks following.  Naturopaths recommend including HGH with the stem cell injections.  The stem cells are to take about 6 months to go through their process.

There may be even more I can do if after 6 months there is still more to be done.

I'm not close to the 6 month mark yet.  So I can't speak to all that yet.  But at least more narrowly, I had a blockage in the artery, which is something physical that contributed to my ED, and that blockage is now fixed by having been bypassed.  And I have to allow that new artery which was taken from another part of my body and used to bypass the blockage via micro-surgery, time to take more and more and for my body to heal up more over more time.  I have to allow my body time for everything to do it's work.  I feel like we've set the wheel in motion and healing has begun.

Simply knowing about these tests and knowing that things like a blocked artery or scarring can be the cause, is huge.  So that's what I'm sharing right now.  It would've been huge for me to know on day one.  And so I hope it helps anyone who reads it who is going through this.  Please let me know if it does!  That's because without knowing this, you go into a urologist's office, they do no tests, or only one, and tell you there is nothing you can do, as in my case, or that it's in your head, as in the original posters case.  So then you leave the office hopeless and possibly have good years go by without receiving treatment.  The entirety of my 20s went by like this.  I tried for years, saw different urologists, but eventually after them all telling me it's hopeless, I got in a bad slump for years more.  After some time, Viagra didn't work either.  So I mean, impotent no matter how much Viagra I took, it wasn't happening.  And doctors still didn't send me for the tests I listed, beyond the first two (catheter and ultrasound), even though the ultrasound showed a problem with bloodflow, until I found a urologist that did, for which I'm very grateful.

So anyway, know that there are physical causes, and I gave you the example of what my physical causes were, and the tests that I had.  And maybe there's even more, maybe in Europe or Japan or whatever.  And there is another injection I came across for scar tissue I would like to investigate more too etc, like Super Oxide Dismutase.  So it may take seeing urologist after urologist after urologist, but I would say find a qualified one of course and one that is willing to stick with you for the long term to find a solution, empower yourself with knowledge and trust your intuition.  

I know I can't say I'm completely back to normal yet - though wait for it in the future somewhere - but I believe I will be.  I've seen improvement already and it's so very early, but finally healing has started, while in the previous years the doctors were doing nothing and I wasn't getting treated.
Hey can you contact me?
Hey CT_GUY I'm just seeing this comment now. I just sent a message to your inbox
Avatar universal
Wow that is the most informative post I have ever read. How in the world do you get arterial blockages at such a young age? Scarring from what, a trauma or something? Do you have excessively high cholesterol or triglycerides? And where is this urologist and who is it? He or she might quite be the most thorough urologist in the world. You have provided more information in one single post than I have gathered on the net in years of searching here and there. Amazing!
Avatar universal
From original posting, you like girls; stop thinking you may be gay because you're having trouble getting it up with the girls. If you're masturbating without issues, it's psychological performance issues, especially considering your age. In my opinion, you're putting the cart before the horse: you're moving to have sex before you're ready to. Even a guy may be pressuring himself to have sex before he is 'emotionally' ready to.
In a new relationship, if it is even considered that, you're moving too quickly, trying to engage in sex right off the get go. It may be in your best interest to firstly establish a relationship with a girl you are connected with, who you can become comfortable with, and perhaps even care for and love. Sex then becomes more natural, and instead of the mind's focus being upon the 'performance of the act' it becomes the expression of passion. Take your time, step back before leaping forward.
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