Erectile Dysfunction Community
3.04k Members
Avatar universal

Advice on rebooting with no m and p for 8 weeks

I'm having problems getting and maintaining an erection during sex. I'm fine leading up to sex however the minute we move on to sex, it goes away. This is with a new gf and I'm a bit nervous as you'd expect but nothing out of the ordinary. I'm mid 30s and in good health and fitness. I've just found this website and all the great advice from people with the same problem and have read about connection between porn and ED.

I've m to p all my adult life and particularly in the last year between my last and present gf. Static images weren't enough so went to videos and then on to harder stuff in order to get an erection. Just watching it isn't enough to get an erection as I had to stimulate myself and the erection was ok  but not 100%. I've only just realised the impact this is having and is about to have on my new relationship and will do anything to solve it. I'm p free now for over 10 days as I figured out that the p was a potential cause over a week ago however I'm 1 day free on m as only just read about potential need to go p AND m free.  read the m is good for raising testosterone have been m for the last week every morning with only thoughts of my gf for stimulation and got erections fine. However I've read about going m and p free for 8 weeks to resolve this and am going to do it.

Can anyone advise on the do's and don'ts. I haven't told my gf yet and am going to have to and I don't know what to tell her that I can and can't do. Can I pleasure her for example whilst I'm on the waggon. Can I get stimulated at all (without touching) or is it best I avoid all sexual contact. I am prepared for me to go without but want to keep my gf as happy as it is realistically possible to do.

Any advice or experiences people have would be really appreciated.
5 Responses
Avatar universal
Masturbation has no long term effect on testosterone levels. Your problem has nothing to do with testosterone. A certain level of testosterone is needed for penile health, but testosterone does not cause erections - nerve impulses from brain and spinal cord cause erections.

Your porn-induced ED is caused by desensitization of the brain, and a decline of nerve impulses from the erection centers of the brain. We have been learning about porn-induced ED and recovery for 5 years now, and we have not seen anyone recover who continued on a regular masturbation habit. Even though porn was the vehicle for your ED, it seems as though the brain needs a complete rest to come back to normal. You will know when it's time to reintroduce masturbation.

You need to learn more about this problem.

GOOGLE VIDEO -  erectile dysfunction and porn - watch the video series.

Have you checked out this thread with lots of guys who have porn-induced ED?
You can find my first few posts and follow the links to get all your answers. It's completely non commercial.

Avatar universal
I'm curious where you draw the line on what's considered 'porn', and whether relatively consistent masturbation (several times a week) or only the *combination* of XXX porn and masturbation has negative effects.  If a guy masturbates to pictures of say, Jessica Alba in a bikini, is that equivalent to doing so while watching several random XXX clips on YouPorn?  I personally see a major difference (in the former it takes some fantasizing - a good thing - in the latter you're just a spectator - a bad thing) - but one could argue it's a matter of degree.  In both cases it's artificial and requires no interaction with another person.  Stopping masturbation for an extended period as a treatment for ED - I'm not sure that's been borne out with actual studies - if so I'd like to read them.  Wouldn't there be the equally likely outcome that a guy will just lose interest in sex all together if there's not some stimulation in between sexual encounters?  People who decided to give up a 'harmful' food (like meat) claim that after an extended period of time they no longer even have any desire to eat hamburgers.  I know in my case, a two week forced abandonment of masturbation due to a prostate infection definitely led to a major drop in sexual desire. It actually took a while to 'get back to normal', and I almost had to force myself to do so.  
Avatar universal
Good question.
I'm not sure if have watch the yourbrainonporn videos, or read much on yourbrainonporn, but this is all explained. Put simply, there's no such thing as porn to the reward circuitry. It only registers stimuli as spikes in dopamine. For example - SI swim suit would cause dopamine spikes to a guy whose never used porn. But someone who's done the xxx for a while would have no dopamine released. Or a gay person may like gay porn (dopamine), but be turned off by lesbian porn, or a women may like lesbian porn (dopamine) but not like rape scenes. In addition, as some porn users escalate (brains become desensitized) their tastes change, which means what gets their dopamine going changes.

Also keep in mind the way the internet delivers porn is unique. Guys have multiple screens, constant clicking to novel material, searching – all these raise dopamine, No rented DVD, or magazine can match the constant novelty and escalation that the Internet provides. If people can become addicted to facebook, what do you think porn videos delivered like video games, can do to the reward circuitry?

Men with porn-induced ED do best if they avoid all artificial stimulation. First- they recover quicker, second - they avoid because that may trigger a porn relapse.

As far as losing sexual interest, are you a porn user? I ask because men who use porn heavily (especially those with ED), experience a flatline period of 2 -8 weeks when they stop porn. Their reward circuitry no longer has its hits of dopamine
Avatar universal
it's a complex issue, a phrase that always pops up in the discussion is the "brain become desensitized" by years and years of porn viewing.  Can't deny that - plus, a guy will probably discover that his gf is nothing like the performers in the non-amateur porn - won't be as uninhibited and probably won't look as good.  In my 20's and 30's I was a major porn renter, now I'm a 100% 'non-nude pictures' guy - my friends shake their heads and say that would do nothing for them.  They need action, video, and pushing the bounds.  And not surprisingly, many admit to semi-permanent 'minor' ED (although age is now playing a role too).  
Avatar universal
You know what do you have to do now it's time to say goodbye to porn and fantasies plus orgasm (if you can manage)and let your brain and body heal naturally. Remember flatline is not gonna stick with you for the rest of your life its there because your brain needs some time to heal(it could be 90to120days or maybe one year or two)yeah sounds like a hard challenge but trust me you will get your sexual life back to normal.and for god sake quit porn asap or its gonna ruin your life.well don't stress things out just chill and you'll be alright.
Have an Answer?
Top Sexual Health Answerers
139792 tn?1498589250
Indore, India
11369760 tn?1449507972
Southwest , MI
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Dim the lights and break out the…eggs? These 10 foods will kick your sex drive into high gear.
Here are 16 facts you need to know to protect yourself from contracting or spreading a sexually transmitted disease.
The surprising benefits of getting busy
Pain, cramps and spotting — when should you call the doctor?
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.