Erectile Dysfunction Community
3.04k Members
Avatar universal

Is this ok?

I am in my 60's and due to medical issues can not attain an erection. My wife is a healthy sexual women and because I can not have intercourse, I do not think it is fair she has to go without.  We have a strong relationship and I have suggested she should have intercourse with others. Am I off track or have others gone this path?
4 Responses
Avatar universal
I happen to believe in the sanctity of marriage - it’s not only a physical but also a spiritual bond & a promise made before God. So in my opinion, no, I do not think this is OK. Why not learn to please her in other ways? Manually, orally, etc. Also, you could give her permission to please herself, or even join in the fun yourself. Also, many guys are not aware that men can have orgasms from stimulation of the penis even without an erection - I know some will find this hard to believe, but it’s true! So the two of you could learn to please each other via mutual masturbation, which many couples find very pleasurable.
Avatar universal
That would depend on if you and your wife have ever discussed an open relationship. And her response to the idea. But I agree with Bonzo. I would try to incorporate using oral sex mutual masturbation. And sex toys. You can always discuss with her of both of you looking online. For such things if you prefer not to go to an adult store for them. Consider getting a strap on dildo and harness for you to use. But let her feel and touch the dildos. To ensure that she likes them. And that it will excite her to use them.
Right - good point, Edguy!  I forgot to mention possible use of a strap-on - thought of that after I made my comment. I know to some that may seem a little kinky - but many find it a good substitute if penetrative sex is not otherwise possible. Also, I would say it's no 'kinkier' than having your wife getting it from someone else. Good advice about letting her decide what she likes - women can sometimes be much pickier about such things than men are...
Avatar universal
I had a robotic prostatectomy and agree your wife should not have sex with other men. some suggestions since nothing you do with your wife for sexual satisfaction is off limits, if you keep between you and her. Since most men secretly fantasize about watching their wife have sex with another man have the fantasy with her. NOT REALITY. Use an acceptable to her dildo and pretend its a celebrity she likes but not anyone you two know! and keep on masturbating with her. Ask her to do something extremely sexy for you that would normally get u hard. I came in to my garage two weeks after surgery and my wife surprised me by bending naked over my Harley. She let me take nude photos of her in all positions on the bike spread eagle. She is not that type but very sexy so I got my first hard on seeing that! I stood there masturbating fantasizing about her naked on the back going done the road past stranger men. BINGO! My first dry orgasm was great. Good luck but sexual fun with your wife is possible.
Avatar universal
Too much flour in the system do cause erection weakness.
Like eating bread or any flour meals  everyday  for long term.
Nobody tell me this but I have the experience and confirmed it my self by stopping eating flour and now my erection is pretty good as before.
u can try and see the choice is yours. or u can just watch what U eat mostly, because sometimes erection problem comes from what we don’t even expect at all so u need to do general checking
Have an Answer?
Top Sexual Health Answerers
139792 tn?1498589250
Indore, India
11369760 tn?1449507972
Southwest , MI
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Dim the lights and break out the…eggs? These 10 foods will kick your sex drive into high gear.
Here are 16 facts you need to know to protect yourself from contracting or spreading a sexually transmitted disease.
The surprising benefits of getting busy
Pain, cramps and spotting — when should you call the doctor?
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.