Take a deep breath. There are several factors at work here, none of which is unmanageable.
It’s very possible that the drugs you’ve been taking have affected your arousal and your anxiety over this has contributed even further, creating a viscous circle. In other words, the drugs affect erection, you become anxious and start to worry, and your penis wants no part of it. Erections come and go. This is part of life. You’re HUMAN. In addition, you’ve been experiencing a major shift in your life due to depression, so you’re especially vulnerable.
Celexa (citalopram) is reported to cause sexual side effects in some men. In addition, it should never be discontinued without checking with your physician because discontinuing it abruptly can also create problems.
Valium (diazepam) can also cause sexual side effects, as well as drowsiness, especially when mixed with alchohol.
I will tell you the same thing I’ve told many men:
Our society does a terrible disservice to men by raising them to think that their penis has to be 10 inches long, hard as a rock and last all night. It’s no wonder that many men feel insecure about their sexuality. Great sex involves your whole body; in fact, having great, mutually satisfying sex is usually quite the opposite of what you see in those performance-oriented sex videos.
The more you think of sex as being about performance, the more worries you'll have. If you're stressed, you'll probably worry even more. And this can be a vicious circle. For most of us, sex is about fun and pleasure. If you think of it as performance, or a “job,” you’ll set yourself for a stressful experience. Remember: Performance can be the enemy of pleasure and fun.
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure.
The best thing you can do for yourself is relax and let go of blaming yourself and worrying. Enlist your new girlfriend in some long, slow touching to discover what each of you likes. You’ll find that once you stop worrying about erection, you can enjoy simple touch. Your body will respond automatically once your brain stops getting in the way. Have fun! Dr. J
Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I had wondered about the Diazepam, as it relaxes me and everything but the doctors put me on a super high dose (50mg/day) which I am slowly coming off. Will avoid alcohol, as after all the meds I have tried, it affects me in really bad ways (3 day hangover off moderate drinking 'binge')
If I am honest, I had, which is very unlike me put the previous experience out of my mind and it was more a shock and horror response to find nothing happening again. I wasn't really anxious about performance etc. Of course now I am linking it back to what happened before. But a that time I wasn't anxious or nervous. I guess I have to hope it was a fluke, and not get hung up on it. But like I said things haven't been the same since a certain day, when up til then it seemed citralopram was actually benefiting me ( in sexual regards)
Thanks again for your time
The sooner you let go of what went on before and get on with your life--and pleasure--the better things will be for you. Remember to slow down, breathe, enjoy touch for touch's sake. Dr. J