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Need Urgent ED Help.. 20 Years Old

My name is Jake, and im 20 years old. I need to know what is wrong with me. From birth until I was 18, I had not one erection problem. I got a girlfriend senior year of high school, and could not get an erection with her for the first 4 months, with even Cialis and Viagra sometimes not working. After about 5 months, the issues went away and I am hard anytime in her presence and am working on all cylinders. We've been off and on the past months, and I have starting seeing another girl, who when I am hanging out with and doing sexual things leading up to sex, I cannot get hard in the least bit. Even with taking Cialis prior, my penis is just dead. Long story short, I don't know where to turn and im praying you guys could give me some answers. Here is a little more details and back story on the problem:

- I have gained 15 lbs of muscle over the past year, so low testosterone is not the issue (Also have had medical tests done which came back 100% normal)
-I have a strict workout schedule and a well balanced diet (drink only water, no junk food at all)
-I have not gotten consistent morning wood for about 2 years now
-I frequently watch porn and have for the last year
-My libido is at an all time low, rarely ever being horny
-My flaccid penis seems to more times than not be shriveled and smaller than normal
-Although I could not get hard with the other girls, anytime I see or am with my ex, I am immediately hard and ready to go, which leads me to believe my issues aren't physical or due to porn

Now also, me and this girl have had a very tumultuous relationship. Constant fighting, anger, the whole nine, we basically stayed together because the physical attraction is so strong. Now since my penis works fine EVERY time I am with her, that leads me to believe it is not a physical problem or due to porn, because if so it would be ALL the time, not just with someone but her. What im thinking in my uneducated opinion is that it could be a few things:

-Mental (Although I doubt it because why would my flaccid penis be smaller, as well as morning wood go away and libido lowering?)
-Too much use of porn (The "NoFap" movement is very popular, but I am hesitant to try because again, if this was the case I wouldn't be able to get hard with my ex)
-Stress from the relationship (We fought constantly and im not 110% over her, so maybe im so comfortable with her that its hurting me with others? But again, why the loss of morning wood and libido?)

Ive seen doctors, talked to my friends, and I am at my wits end. If anyone reading this has any idea, hunch, feeling, anything at all about a possible solution, I sincerely can use your help more than ever.

Thanks so much everyone. Heres to hoping I get some answers.
Jake
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Avatar universal
Hey Jake, I've had a problem with erections (flaccid and erect) from early 20s, so I'll attempt to try to help, but your case is different.  In my case, it was clearly physical.  I had zero problems, then I had a physical injury, then I was impotent.  It also, however, progressively got even worse - because the drugs worked less and less to overcome some of the impotence over three years until the drugs didn't work.

The fact your hard when you're with your ex, is curious, and I think would suggest mental as well.  But then not having good morning wood, suggests physical.  I've been told that morning wood is a good way to evaluate.  My own bias is that these issues are almost always physical.  Doctors will still say it's anxiety and back in the day I think they used to think almost all of this was mental.  But I would get as many tests as you can to check for the physical.

Have you had an ultrasound done?  That's usually the first test they do, and usually the only one unless you fight with them or find different urologists.  This tests blood flow and I also think can identify scar tissue.  I would specifically ask that the scar tissue be looked at and even if they could capture the images when they do the test of any scarring.

Doctors may tell you that there is nothing that can be done to fix scarring anyway, so why test it.  But that is not true.  There are tests - even if clinical trials - on new techniques to actually address the scarring.  I've undergone a couple of them myself.

I believe that masturbation does cause damage.  I believe that because I started masturbating at a very late age I'm a unique observer of this, and before that time all my erections were 100% hard, regardless of nerves, being super drunk, etc.  At a thought I'd be erect and have to sit down for 10 minutes.  Then I started masturbating, I had an injury around the same time, but even the three years after my injury things got progressively worse, and the only thing I can think of is that every time you masturbate (or at least masturbate wrong), a little scarring is added, and that adds up to where it interferes with erections significantly.

My urologist even thinks that the way I masturbated contributed to a blocked artery - it blocked at the base of the penis.  How NOT to masturbate, and how I was, is to move your penis towards and away from your stomach, moving it at the base.  The better way to do it - if you must - is to move your hand up and down the penis, without moving the penis itself, i.e. like penetration.
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Another note on why things are better with your ex. We are thinking this shows mental, but actually it doesn't discount physical.  It could be two sides of a scale: one side is any physical damage you have in your penis, and the other side is the arousal, blood flow into your penis.  And maybe with your ex, the arousal and blood flow in is slightly higher and enough to tip the scale to overcome the damage, while with the other girls, it's not quite enough.  I would just be careful with masturbation, and if your gut is telling you it's not anxiety and mental, then investigate the hell out of the physical, with tests etc.  I hope this helps.
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