ya, this is a problem. I think giving up the porn completely is step one. Porn is the easy out. It's so visual and in your face you don't have to think much or be aroused as you do say when with a woman you sleep with on a regular basis. There is some thought that it actually changes the make up of the brain and can become an addiction. So, like with all addiction, give up the drug of choice. I'd purge the porn completely and decrease your masturbation. And during the process of 'getting clean' still pleasure your lady in other ways even if you can't get an erection. And a therapist may be a good choice for you so you can get back on track.
I have same situation but due to excess masturbation for last 15 years, the issue is that I ejaculate within 1 or 2 minutes and I am about to get married. Would capsules like viagara etc help in maintaining erection and no ejaculation so that I can have proper sex after marriage and dont get embarrassed?
What do the porn stars in movies use that they stay so erect and can do stuff for many minutes non stop?