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Problem of Staying Hard during Sex

Hii everyone,
  I have read many forums and quries about the problem of not staying hard during Sex. But I still didnt find the exact answer. thats why i am posting My own question. I am 24 year old guy. i have met a girl 4 weeks before and deeply in love with her. and she is my first girlfriend and I am virgin. But on other hand she likes me but not sure she s loving me as she recently broke up with her Ex and dont want to be in a relationship. But still we r close enough to have sex. and there comes the problem. when we were first tym having sex, i was completely soft. never hard that entire night. i was soo worried but she is so nice that she understood it is very common for Virgins. but after some days, i was getting hard and she gave me hand jobs and was perfect.. And one night i was expecting her to give hand job but to my surprise, she took my penis into her and had sex with her but i cummed in 30 secs. that night i was able to have sex 2 times and was rock hard. ( all these hapend with out condom) .after that, I am getting hard at start, we are having very exciting foreplay and two time i came with fore play. one day i am hard enough to have sex and when i am about to go into her, i am soo soft. But again with fore play i could ***. Now i am soo worried that i am unable to maintain the hardness during sex. My gf likes Sex alot and i am a total failure in that which actually worries me that she may leave me. I am soo deeply loving her that i cant take it.. So PLEASEEEEE somebody out there Give me some suggestions. Many says it is with Mind.. but i seriously dont know these Mind tricks.. Pleaseee some one enlighten me in this case.. I will be really thankful to you guys.
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Avatar universal
Female point of view. Make sure you talk with your lady, you have to include her in on whats going on and ask for help. If you dont, she will feel terrible about herself and eventually seek out some one who doesnt make her feel ugly or unwanted. If your lady knows from the start, and your true and honest, then she will want to help you recover from masterbation and porn because this will prove to her that you see her as :worth quitting for" and you value her more than this awful addiction.'Good luck!!!
Helpful - 0
1533352 tn?1307054656
You just need to stop masterbating and using porn so much. I had an ex boyfriend who was the same way as you and couldnt keep from playing with himself 3 or 4 times a day, and constantly watched internet porn, and it really effected his performance in bed.

Try not masterbating for a week and not looking at porn and you will find yourself so desperate that the sex will be much, much better.

The other thing is to definitely not wear a condom during sex if you are having trouble staying hard. Every guy Ive ever slept with has always said they enjoyed it much more without a condom, so Ive always just told guys I prefer them to do it without a condom. Gets them every time. Also some people will have different views, but Ive always thought it was the womans job to worry about her own birth control, not the mans.

Lastly, if you smoke, try not to smoke more than two packs of cigarettes a day, if you are having ED problems. Im a bit of a chain smoker myself, often smoking three and a half to four packs a day, and more than a few guys have accused me of tasting like an ashtray; so I tend to only sleep with guys who are smokers for that reason. Problem is that sometimes if a guy is a really heavy smoker like me, if hes in his late 30s or his 40s and has been a smoker since his teens, chances are hes going to have some serious respitory conditions, maybe early onset emphesyma, or COPD, or some other pulmonary condition that might effect his sexual performance.

A few years ago I was sleeping with a 44 year old accountant who had done my taxes and was having marital problems, and he only smoked maybe two and a half packs a day since he was a teenager, but he had severe ED problems. It took alot of work but once he cut back to only smoking a pack and a half a day, stopped trying to masterbate twice a day and stoped looking at porn websites off and on throughout the day, he had much better success in getting and staying hard enough for sex.

In fact, once he did that and stopped playing with himself constantly, his ED almost entirely went away, and he actually got to be where he was very good in bed. Sadly, his smoking caught up to him and he was diagnosed with lung cancer just two years later and he passed away that following year, leaving behing a cute seven year old daughter and a pretty twenty-three year old wife he'd gotten pregnant by accident when she was only barely sixteen years old.

Best of luck with your ED!  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi Powerstar, well the truth come out, it looks like you have porn enduced ED, or getting that way, now you can google that, and it will tell you that you need to take an 8 week break from all forms of sex, this is so your body can reboot, so you need to be truthful to your new love of your life that she can have no sex for the next 8 weeks, and that she must leave yo alone, this is all for the best tell her, ands its up to you if you tell her the truth why.
Good Luck
Helpful - 0
1828226 tn?1323565248
well, i use to do the same thing but once I started looking into masturbation and porn  I realize it was ruining my sexlife somehow. so I eventually stop doing it and got better erection, staying power and increased penis sensitivity. Sex is much better for me now.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I do mastrubation 2 or 3 times a day before i met her and used to watch lot of porn.... after i met her i stopped watching porn and used to mastrubate three days once or 2 days once
Helpful - 0
1828226 tn?1323565248
do you masturbate frequently? watch porn?
Helpful - 0
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