Hi Nick.
It also sounds as though you believe that self-pleasuring is somehow harmful or can be done “too much” or that you've become desensitized. The truth is that everyone has different needs and different sexual interests. Some people self-pleasure five times a day, some never, some 5 times a week, some once a month, some 10 times a day, etc. You get the picture, right? Whatever works for you is what works for you.
However, building up erotic tension can be fun. If you are anticipating being sexual with someone, try not having an orgasm for a day or two and see what happens. Perhaps a little erotic tension might just be the spark you need. Or just play with building up erotic tension before self-pleasuring and see what happens.
Welcome to your 20’s! When you're younger and just beginning to be sexual with others, erections pop up everywhere--including when you don't want them! Post-pubescent men are highly excitable. After all, sex with a partner is new, and anything new is terribly exciting. As you age, you'll find that erections sometimes take longer, and even come and go. This is not an indication if ill health, but just part of life.
Since you experience erections during self-pleasuring, it’s probable that there’s no medical or physiological condition interfering—it’s all in your head. However, to be sure you have no underlying physiological cause, you might want to see a urologist for some tests--especially your testosterone levels. Sometimes low testosterone can interfere with erections, as can depression. If you're feeling low-energy, loss of interest in activities, etc., it's possible that you're depressed. If this is true for you, see a therapist for a diagnosis.
Worrying about erections is a dead-end street. All it will do is make you anxious, which will make your penis very uncooperative. And remember you don't need an erection to be sexual, have fun, experience pleasure, etc. Relax, enjoy your own unique sexuality and stop judging yourself.
For more information about male sexual issues, I recommend “The New Male Sexuality,” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D., widely available online, both used and in paperback. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
thank you doctor.
i have taken appointment with urologist to check testosterone levels and i have also purchased the book..thank you once again your reply was really helpful.have a nice day