You’re right. You’ve created this situation for yourself. It never ceases to amaze me just how powerful the brain is.
I can’t tell you what’s going on because you, yourself are the only one who knows that, and you have the answer, not me. Take a deep breath, and read on.
This is happening because of your anxiety, stress and discomfort. Since you’ve undergone all the tests and they don’t indicate any physiological conditions, we have to assume it is, indeed, an emotional reaction to your negative experience. It’s important to realize that the brain is so powerful that it can create a situation in which you feel removed from your body and numb. Now, you need help getting back in touch with yourself.
You state that everything feels numb; but I’m wondering if perhaps because it feels DIFFERENT that it did before, you interpret that as numbness. Sometimes, when we don’t feel good about a sexual part of our body, we cut off all feeling to it, creating what I call “crotch anesthesia.” If you hate something enough, you’ll feel less and less when it’s touched.
So what can you do? The first thing is promise NEVER, EVER to listen to those horrible messages that bigger is better. They are designed to sell you a product, not to help you. And stay away from women who make you feel bad about yourself. You might want to look at whether you’re particularly vulnerable to these kinds of messages. Do you always end up with people who make you feel bad or wrong or guilty?
I think a helpful first step for you is to learn more about male sexuality, which will help increase your self-image and confidence. The book I recommend for all men is “The New Male Sexuality,” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D., widely available online, but used and in paperback. This book has helped thousands of men, and I know it will help you. After reading it, if you still feel you need help, you might consider consulting a therapist who is trained to help people with sexual concerns. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
hmm i'm sure janice will get back to you .. what other parts of you is numb beside your genitals? it sounds like something neurological
thank u so much dr.janice ..i really read ur answer carefully and its just what i expected with more details included!! no i never end up with girls like this!! ive had a very good sex drive troughout my experience untill this girl came across! and yes about the numbness maybe i explained it wrong! but yeah totally loss of sensation to the touch! like anesthesia!!i already ordered the book and im gonna read it! and if i wont get the help enough can u recommend me or tell me whats the specific therapist i should go to ? like a sex therapist or sexologist or what kind? thank u again for ur great answerr i appreciate u alot :) ur the only person that knew exactly what is going with me ..at least u told me that theres a way to reconnect with my body and that the body will not remain numb like that ..u gave me a hope in my life again :) i appreciate it .
I'm so happy to hear back from you. You're on the right track, and I encourage you to keep me posted.
Once you've read the book, check back in and let me know how you're doing. If you feel you'd like additional help, click on my name a the top of the page and leave a message for me, telling me your location. I can probably refer you to a sexologist in your area. Wonderful to hear from you! Dr. J