Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

performence anxiety?

so i am a teenager almost 15 years old and recently i was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend and everything was going fine in fore play but when i was going to put on a condom i lost my erection why is that? also today i was doing fore play with her and i started to panic remembering what happened and when she was putting her hand in my pants i lost my erection. and thats how things stayed later on when i was walking her home we started touching each other. and i told my self not to think  about it anymore and i got an erection and kept it,so i have a feeling this is mental. any advice? what should i think of when doing foreplay? and during sex?
11 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
Hi J, lok most men masturbate, its a way of keeping things going and cleaning out any old sperm, but the problems come from over masturbating as some guys do, this can lead to big problems, so just try and keep it to a couple of times a week, you could try mastur bating the same day your next seeing your girl, but not to soon before seeing her, its a way of releaving the pressure, and could calm you down, but just take your sex life with ease, no need to rush, it seems you have a nice g/f hang on to this one.
Good Luck
Remember safe sex is good sex.
Helpful - 0
4578770 tn?1356740508
You gotta get in the mood / be more comfortable with yourself. Confidence is key...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
okay thanks
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
…as soon as you stop thinking about it & worrying… it will resolve
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hi, me and my girlfriend talked about this and she said she understands and not to worry about it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
does masturbation have anything to do with this? so basiclly i have to clear my mind and think about nothing but  how satisfying it is?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
its a vicious cycle… dont try to prove something…. dont make it a big deal… just relax & open about it
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi J you just need to really relax, and have very clear thoughts, if yopu dont it will just get worst for you, look your at an early age and this is the thing you have seen porn on the net and now its you, so you now have all these visons in your head, and because you not focused on her, the one you love, and your thinking should now be doing this or that, next thing down goes your erection, and thats it, for you to be able to carry forward then you must clear you head and dont watch porn.
But do try and google whta I said it will help, there is lots of imforma tive info onthere just what your young mind needs.
Good Luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i was in a relationship with a guy who had the same issue at first…
I never thought that he couldnt preform or that it was me… it was no big deal… I just tried to help him relax and realize that it is no big deal… It finally happened in an instance that was no planned or predicted…  comfortably and casually…
Yes, this is mental and very tricky…
Hopefully she is not putting too much pressure on you… the key is to not make it a bigger deal than it is… dont worry and anticipate it going wrong,., dont plan sex to try to make up for last time…
Absolutely do not race against your erection,,, meaning: do not rush into things just because it is hard (or it will be soft once the condom is out of the wrapper…
it would really help if she put on the condom as part of the foreplay…
You can easily suggest this (when not in the moment)…

You should openly talk about it with her… in a "no big deal way"… to have it on the table and take the power out of it… This really helps… and then she can work with you.,. in the end you will be closer…

dont think of what to think about in the moment… take it slow… relax and communicate
it will be fine,,, and it is no big deal- really
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i have tried tp focus on me and her but it was kind of difficult. i think since this happened once its making it even more difficult.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi J, This was performance anxiety, this has happended to us all, next time your with her just think of her and not you, all your thoughts should be her and what your doing to her let her put your condom on as a part of forplay, keep things like as part of your sex life.
If youreally want some good info on sex and how to do it, just google dobson and ross, everything you need to know in one place sit with your g/f and read together, you will find very educational, its run by Dr Betty Dobson, and for your g/f she takes life one orgasm at a time, she runs life class's for women, and she has some great art on site, enjoy.
Good Luck
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Erectile Dysfunction Community

Top Sexual Health Answerers
139792 tn?1498585650
Indore, India
Avatar universal
Southwest , MI
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.