Aa
teen erectile dysfunction? complicated =(
So im an 18 year old male, and the last three times me and my girlfriend have tried having sex there has been problems.. In the beggining when we first start to make out, I will get hard but slowly it will fade away. It will come back maybe 2 more times randomly throughout the process but always for a short amount of time. Im never hard enough for long periods of time soo I cant do anything. You cannot understand how embarassing this is. I finally find a perfect girl and am ready to have sex and this has to happen. Here is where the loophole comes in. I know it is strange but for as long as I can remember ive had a smoking fetish. I didnt grow up masturbating to normal porn, always women smoking cigarettes...Im only attracted to women and I can masterbate to normal porn(i think) but it just is not the same. Should i just maybe stop masturbating to the fetish porn cold turkey and get used to normal porn? This is my only solution I could come up with, but I need other opinions. It really is upsetting and depressing that this kind of problem has to happen..any help?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi.
I know it's tempting to look for simple answers (like enjoying certain erotic imagery) to complex problems, but it's a dead-end street.
Since you’re having erections when not with a partner that indicates that your body is working fine—it’s your heart/brain that’s getting in the way.
Whatever images turn you on are part of your unique sexual personality. Unless these images are turning you OFF when you're sexual with a person, then stop worrying about them. They're not the problem.
Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to adjust your attitude and relax. I suspect that once your penis didn’t respond on command, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious!
Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.
For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available online, both used and in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens—and find partners who aren’t hung up on performances issues either. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
I know it's tempting to look for simple answers (like enjoying certain erotic imagery) to complex problems, but it's a dead-end street.
Since you’re having erections when not with a partner that indicates that your body is working fine—it’s your heart/brain that’s getting in the way.
Whatever images turn you on are part of your unique sexual personality. Unless these images are turning you OFF when you're sexual with a person, then stop worrying about them. They're not the problem.
Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to adjust your attitude and relax. I suspect that once your penis didn’t respond on command, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious!
Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.
For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available online, both used and in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens—and find partners who aren’t hung up on performances issues either. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
soo it has been a day and no responses..any opinions out there? is it all just nerves?!
also I forgot to add that I do get morning erections so maybe that is a sign it isnt ed
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