First, I'm not a doctor, but I don't believe fibromyalgia has a known cause or even a consensus set of symptoms -- it's a disease defined by symptoms, not a cause. But I don't believe menopause can "bring it on." That would imply it was a hormonally caused disorder, as that's the only change menopause brings on that would seem to be at issue. So I'm not sure this diagnosis is accurate or if it is the cause doesn't seem to be accurate. Maybe what you have is pain that is like that suffered by a fibromyalgia sufferer, but I'm only saying this to urge you to continue to seek more investigation of what's really going on. Never underestimate the stupidity of a particular doctor -- or of someone answering a question on the internet! Second, a vegan "lifestyle" isn't based on health considerations, it's based on ideology by people who don't believe in harming animals in pursuance of their own survival. It doesn't mean eating that way is healthier for a given person, and it might not be for you. This might be a failed experiment and not the end of your search for a diet that suits you. As for losing weight, it is a long, slow process when it works -- quick weight loss usually is temporary, whereas loss from a permanent change in lifestyle takes time but lasts. I have no idea what's going on, but have you had your thyroid checked? I'm sure you have, but it sounds a lot more like that than fibromyalgia, at least from the little you've detailed here. And if it came from menopause, it would be hormonal. If you're muscles are wasting away, I'd venture a guess that a vegan diet isn't going to be the immediate answer, as it is a low protein diet. Good luck in your search for an answer.
Talk to your doctor about what you tried so far. That's the best way to get a sense for what your options are and create a sound treatment plan about what to do next. They may want to run tests, look at medications you're taking or maybe refer you to specialist or suggest a dietian or nutritionist to work with.
Here's some example of questions you may consider asking:
1. Are there any medications that could be of help?
2. Could exercise or physical therapy be used?
3. What is scientifically known about these conditions?
4. Are there things I can change in my environment to improve my health?
5. Are there effective alternative treatments for my condition?
6. How physically active can I be if I have fibromyalgia?
7. Are there any foods I should avoid? Are there foods I should eat more of? Is there a good fibromyalgia diet for me?
8. Could there be another cause for my symptoms?
9. Can you recommend a therapist or counselor if I need more support?
10. Are there other lifestyle habits that could be especially helpful for me?
swap out brown rice or quinoa yes even the new super food which both add up to about 220 calories per cup for cauliflower or roasted peppers that are only about 30 calories per cup
I've seen people on the forum with the exact same problem you're going through. Some of the solutions were asking their SO to hide the junky snacks from them and not let them have any when they ask. That way their SO could have their junk food and even if you're tempted you would have to find it first or make a conscious decision to buy more. Another was to just get out of the vicinity if their SO was eating junk food, go for a walk instead or occupy themselves with something to just get out of the eating area. If you eat all your meals together, make his in one serving of what he would eat. That way there's none left over for you. If you want pizza or fried chicken make them yourself from scratch as often as possible, using healthier alternatives or healthier pre made ingredients. Having to make your own pizza crust or cutting your own fries can be much more time consuming and tedious then making vegetables which might help you rethink the urge to have it and when you do make it, you control every ingredient ! If he has something you want, make your own version. If he's having pasta, make Zucchini pasta or whatever healthy version you like. That way you can feel like you're having similar meals. It might help you feel a little less left out or tempted to eat the same thing he does because you're pretty much are eating the same thing.
Good luck and keep going!
To the person who suggested swapping out brown rice and quinoa for cauliflower or roasted peppers -- calories aren't why we gain weight. Metabolism is. Without some form of complex carbohydrate such as quinoa or brown rice or many others, we have no energy to burn. And if this person does have fibromyalgia, peppers are a pro-inflammatory food for many people -- they're in the nightshade family. And as for getting suggestions from a doctor for how to treat fibromyalgia, not usually going to be useful. They know nothing about nutrition or exercise, as they don't study these things, and often treat fibromyalgia patients with useless surgeries and medications that make people even weaker. Doctors are great for some things, not so great at others. But I still would investigate further, because this diagnosis doesn't sound right to me.