Bilateral Optic Nerve Hypoplasia and the Neurological System

[octavius0880]

Bilateral Optic Nerve Hypoplasia seems to be interfering with my neurological system that seems to be impacting different things.

1. Poor posture but this could be environmental. I believe this is a result of the water filter system the family used growing up as we had a reverse osmosis filter because of the conditions in the area but I believe this took out the minerals and contributed to some sort of spinal condition.
2. I played an instrument in school, saxophone, which added weight to my neck and I think this was also a contributing factor and could be causing issues with the spinal fluid neurological system. I recall seeing a chiropractor when I was in high school and he had no hope it could be corrected.
3. I had a car accident and took unprescribed pain pills, prescribed muscle relaxers, and then used recreational drugs as well. This also could be a contributing factor the cluster F*&^ is my posture.

I recall having problems with organizing written information, organizing my thoughts so that I could process information, I had anxiety issues that caused problems with me recalling important information, and conceptually could not understand mathematics, chemistry, and biology was easier but still difficult given the volume of information. I usually opted to avoid it rather than deal with it because it was too much to process.

I am literally trying to figure out what's wrong and since I have no motivation to be disabled I only think of taking my life and donating my body to research because that would be my only contribution to the world. I go over it time and time again about how things could have been different, what I can try, and frankly, nothing is going in my favor because I will not be able to support myself given my profession. Death is a reasonable solution as I do not want to live in this manner. I can't even find anyone to talk to anymore and so it's either treatment or death I am not going to be disabled. Any ideas on creating a plan to figure out the problems and then get me taken care of?

[JohnHaganMD]

If you have not already done so read about ONH:   this is a good summary  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optic_nerve_hypoplasia    1 and 2 listed above would not cause or worsen.    3 could make you depressed and anxious.  You need a team of physicians: an ophthalmologist   a family MD or internist and a Psychiatrist to help you deal with your depression and anxiety.  You can be helped.