DEVASTATED 7 weeks and no heartbeat

[Mariana101]

So, after four failed IVF and just waiting to do egg donor in September, I got pregnant naturally. A true miracle. First ultrasound at 5 weeks was normal. I went back this morning for a 7 week u/s and there was no heartbeat! The doctor recommended a D&C but I just can't do it. I want to wait a week for another ultrasound to be 100%. Am I in denial? this is just too hard. I'm 41 years old and I can't stop crying. It's like a bad joke that after not being able to get pregnant for so long and all those IVF my baby would have no hearbeat. HELPPPPPP PLEASE.
What else can happen?

[marietta2020]

Im so sorry.  Im still struggling from my first MC. We are all strong women, i just keep telling myself be strong and be positive (some days its just tough).

you are in my thoughts and prayers.

hugs,
M

[mhv]

Just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers.  

xo,
Melissa

[leighanne143]

dont give up.  i had a friend who did not see a heartbeat til the middle of the seventh week.  the baby still grew right?

just wait for friday and go from there.

sorry for the pain you are feeling now.  i know it all too well but dont give up hope.

[nshapland]

That is so sweet about your daughter. I have a daughter, soon to be 12 y/o who is wishing and praying for a baby brother or sister.  After three miscarriages (one at age 31, two at age 39), I'm having difficulty finding the "meaning" in all this, too.  Two of my friends and my therapist had healthy kids after 40, so it's frustrating that it couldn't be as easy for me.
Good luck, though and take care of yourself.

[Mariana101]

I'm not taking progesterone because it has been high enough as to sustained the pregnancy so the miscarriage should start soon if the baby really stop growing. Anyway, I will have an ultrasound on Friday morning and if there is no heartbeat again and no bleeding I guess I will have to scheduled the D&C. As I say, I have a donor already so now I will have to wait three more months to heal and then do that and who knows. Maybe I will get lucky someday before I turn like 60 or something right?!

Melissa, about 16 years ago I had a miscarriage and a month or so after I had a horrible pain. They found more baby tissue inside of me and did a D&C with no meds. It was the worst experience of my life and extremely painful, plus seeing the "device" was awful. I guess they took everything because I got pregnant with my daughter about six monts after that. But I was only 24. I hope this D&C won't mess up my "old" uterus and the donor eggs work. Please GOD!!!! Common.... I did not skip church today, can you believe it? But i'm so mad. Maybe God is protecting me from having a child with disabilities because my eggs are old? that is the only rationalization I have. Can you believe my 16 year old daughter who is very possessive and jealous of me was praying for me to get pregnant. That alone is a miracle. She is back in Venezuela and is coming home Tuesday... I can't wait to see her. She has been so supportive of this. I did not want to tel her because she has been away having fun but the day I got back after the ultrasound she called me randomly (and she does not call me from Venezuela) and I was like Oh my God!!! Isn't she connected to me somehow? Incredible. That was my gift after crying and crying. There is always hope but I do have a wonderful child already. Now my husband deserves one and that is why I am trying very hard.

[usuk]

All my mcs needed cytotec to start the process and d&c to finish it. I never started bleeding on my own. So take that into consideration. Have you ever gone through this before? Just don't take too long and cause complications for the next one. You will get preg again don't forget that while you are grieving. Xoxo

[mhv]

I am sooo sorry!  I started bleeding on my own lightly when I m/c'd went in saw the sac, and no baby.  When I went off the progesterone, I m/c'd my own.  No dnc needed.  I know if i come to no m/c'ing on your own, your doc can give you medicine to make the m/c start.  I try to talk ladies out of getting dnc's if they are not needed, as I have went through hell after mine 20 some odd years ago.  There is a very slight chance of scar tissue forming and then it's hell to get rid of them.  As I am finding out!  After what, a year 1/2 of trying to get pregnant?!?! And, that is what cause my m/c last year.

I just wish there would be a miracle for you Mariana!  I know how bad you want this and how badly I want this for you!  If you need to talk, message me.... You have helped me so much in the past and comforted my heart in so many ways... I just pray I can do the same for you!!!


xoxo,
Melissa

[nshapland]

I am so sorry. I was 39 in Jan when I got pregnant naturally (after 2 failed iuis and one very early miscarriage). Everything was perfect, from the first beta (375 at 14 dpo) to seeing a good, strong heartbeat at 6 wks or so.  Then 4 days after I saw the heartbeat, I started spotting on a Sat morning. I went back in Monday and there was no heartbeat. I, too, felt like it was some sort of cruel joke, after trying for so long and then conceiving naturally.  Then I found out the fetus was chromosomally normal (after the d&c) and the miscarriage was likely due to a septum missed on the hsg films by my previous dr.  So, I know how truly awful this is for you.  
As for not doing a d&c before you start bleeding--are you on progesterone? If you are, you probably won't start bleeding on your own. I didn't b/c I was on 800 mg progesterone. Just something to think about.  
Take care of yourself and let us know what happens.
Natalie

[Mariana101]

Yes, I could be all messed up with the dates. But the first ultrasound it measured 5 weeks 1 day and the second (two weeks later) measured 6 or 7,,,, The ultrasound lady said 6 and the doctor said 7. I was in so much shock that I did not ask many questions. The only thing I said was that I did not wanted to do a D&C before I started bleeding. I think I should at least start bleeding before doing a scheduled abortion right! Am I crazy? I just refused. I need to see that my body is somehow starting to miscarriage by its own and then do the D&C.

[Mariana101]

I feel horrible. No bleeding..... just waiting and waiting. The worst part was seeing the baby's head and his little body and no heart! WTF!!! I'm so mad and sad!!

[mhv]

You know, I was thinking... since you go preggers on your own, is there any way you could have the conception date wrong and not be as far along as you though?  I mean, we all think in terms of "timed" cycles... Maybe you implanted later?  I was just wondering if this could be a possibility?

[usuk]

I am sorry if this posts twice. You should wait if you want. It is so nice to get a bfp without so much medical manipulation. So magical :) but you want a healthy baby too. Make sure the healing time won't be affected if you wait. If you are set with a donor in sept you are so close and could be in the clear by the holidays. Sending you love and support from new York. Xoxoxo

[darlabubbles]

I wish I could give you a hug right now. I'm very sorry for your loss. I can understand wanting to do another ultrasound and you should if that would make things easier for you. The only real advise I could give you is to just grieve. In your own way and for as long as you need to.  The good news is that you know you can get pregnant. You can take comfort in knowing that. It is what got me thru both my miscarriages. Just reading your loss makes me want to cry. I will pray for you.

[mhv]

Oh My Gosh!  I am soooo sorry this is happening to you!  After everything you have been through!  This just isn't fair!!!!  I don't have any advice for you ,but I wanted to reach out and let you know I'm hear for you no matter what happens! (you know that of course).  I hope you get some positive feedback from the ladies on here.  
I have you in my prayers and am praying for the miracle you so deserve!

Hugs!!!!!!

Melissa