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Fertility / Infertility / IVF Community
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Avatar universal

I am infertiled.....adoption or surrogacy?

Hello) 3 years ago i had hysterectomy and i am not able to get pregnant....My husband and i want to have a child, so we decided to find a solution to this problem throw adoption. Recently, wehave found out that we can use surrosurrogate mother....can't decide. Unfortunately, we know about this topic nothing at all and would like to get as much information as it possible) who faced such problems? Share please
4 Responses
Avatar universal
I'm so sorry you have to go through infertility. I know this is really hard for you to accept your diagnosis. To be honest I don't know if infertility can be accepted. I was born without a uterus. I was infertile for my whole life. But I still can't accept it. You just have to learn how to live with it. At least we have options. There are treatments which can help us to become mothers. Personally I chose surrogacy. Now I'm looking for fertility center which will help me to accomplish my dream. There is also such variant as adoption. I hope you will find option which will suit you the most. I wish you best of luck!
Avatar universal
I've already shared this on boards. In US surrogacy is overwhelmingly expensive -$60 – 150k! Unless you have a kind family member or friend that is willing to carry it for you. If things go wrong (such as a surrogate backing out or unfortunate situations like a miscarriage) you automatically have to pay at least $5k to match with another surrogate. And do their health workup through the agency. There are so many costs that could be added at any time! But what bothers the most is that in some states, surrogate mothers retain a parental right to the child!  And can even pursue custody! Even though the embryos placed in the surrogate have both of your DNA, the surrogate mother’s name is on the birth certificate! Then you have to go through the process of adopting the baby in court.
The biggest factor is time. All of the legal paperwork, signing a contract, matching a surrogate, having the surrogate go through the work-up, and so on, and next thing you know, it’s been a year or two since you started the process!
Avatar universal
I'm adding. In the UK surrogacy is also complicated. A nice track is to seek surrogacy overseas. I'd recommend looking onto Ukraine. (We're currently udergoing ivf there).
The whole procedure it is relatively affordable. My clinic, for ex., has all-inclusive plans starting at 32k up to 50k. It covers absolutely everything outside of your plane tickets. (Such as transportation, food, accommodations, all things that involve IVF for you (if you are using your own eggs), surrogate screening and medical costs and birth at the hospital. It is also the same price if you choose to use donor eggs instead. This is a nice back-up plan to have if things don’t work out with your own -- at no additional cost! This blows people away as there aren't much of this kind of all-inclusive plan anywhere else. The best part about it is that they guarantee you a baby! I'll explain here. If the first surrogate doesn’t work out, they will try again with another using your frozen embryos until they are successful. We have encountered other couples who chose Ukraine purely for the guarantee factor of a baby. It seems like Ukraine is one of the few places where the laws favor the intended parents rather than the surrogate. Under Ukrainian law, the baby is yours from the moment of conception. Once the baby is born, the birth certificate is issued with our names, and the surrogate cannot claim any rights.
Avatar universal
Whatever route you choose I wish you all the best of luck!!
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