It's over for me....... :(

[4Angie]

As I said, I would try IVF one more month and it did not work.  What a huge letdown!!!  It seems so medically precise that how could it not work????  I saw the embryo transferred inside of me and I already became attached to it as my baby.  I hung a baby stocking at Christmas for him/her.  I did everything they told me to do.  I tortured myself, emotionally disconnected from everything else in my life and became consumed with the whole process.  On New Year's Eve day in the middle of a funeral, I got the phone call that the beta level came back negative.  I was in shock!!!  I could not believe it!  I knew for sure I was pregnant.  I have cried, and cried, and cried!  I almost feel like I missed out on 6 months last year.  And to top it off, we have a stupid bill to pay every month for 5 years to pay for it and it didn't even work!  I have to look at that bill for the next 5 years with nothing to show for it!!!!  I am so depressed!  Yes, I have 2 beautiful, adoring, healthy children and I am very thankful for that.  Some people say that at least I have one, much more-2 (boy and girl).  I am sure it is not as heartbreaking as if I did not have any children, but I still hurt!  And I hurt badly!  I feel trapped inside my body and just going through the motions of having to perform daily activites.  I want to just move on!!!!!!  My husband said last night, "Can we please continue to try on our own".  I can't think of another cycle day or ovulation day or anything to do with conception!  I know when AF comes, I am going to break down again.  I don't know what it feels like to have a miscarriage, but that is what I feel happened.  I cannot get the vision out of head of seeing the embryo transferred into me!!!  I am so sad and miserable!!!!  I am 41 and old and it is time to call it over!

[Kricket212]

Feeling really sad for my friend Bonnie AKA  Tinksmagic who just recently miscarried. Please keep her in your prayers.  
I am so happy we can all rally around & suppor each other.

[mommyin10]

I'm so sorry ! ;( I can totally understand how you're feeling & it's wonderful that you have a beautiful son & daughter, but it doesn't lessen the hurt when you become so emotionally invested. You're right, it is like a m/c & it will take time to heal. Take care! My heart goes out to you.

[4Angie]

Thank you so much for your support through all of this.  It has gotten a little better since the initial "shock", but my heart is still broken.  This forum is the 'best' when it comes to just spilling your guts for the moment!!!!   Thanks for listening!!!!  I know I am not the only one on here that feels this pain!  We will all make it through with each other to lean on!  
You don't know how much it has meant to me to just hear "I am sorry!"  :)

[puertoricanps1]

I am so sorry. Alot of people get pregnant right when they stop trying... try not to get to down about it although I know that feeling (I had a MC 3 years ago) you would rather someone punch you in the face then to feel that emotional pain... but seriously... I hear so many stories of.. "As soon as we stopped trying, I got a BFP!" I will keep you in my prayers.

[hzprgurl90]

4Angie..

Wow..Im so sorry to hear that.. it makes me sad for you.. No matter how many children you have the pain of not conceiving is still devistating and I hope that one day you will be able to close your eyes and breathe,it will work out, I understand some what, I am on my 2nd round of IuI, and let me say the short time has been so hard, Stressed .. So you need to do whats right for you and take some time to heal, my prayers are with you and your family .......

[Kricket212]

Sending you hugs that you will feel better soon.  
I am feeling sad too because I just miscarried.  We will try again & hope for success.

I am praying for you & know you will do whats right for you & your family.

[tinksmagic]

:(  Hugs to you.  Hubby says we're done too if this one by the grace of God makes it.  I really wanted 2, but 1 took (I should be happy) but he's not growing so fast and might not make it.  Hubby agreed to try again if he doesn't make it, but he won't go for 1 last one if he does.  I'm already miserable and that kinda makes it even worse to know I'm done after 1 more.

Best of luck to you!!!!  Maybe a miracle will happen on it's own for you?

[Sammy_J]

Don't know what to say except sending you a big hug
Sam

[Helen72]

I am so very sorry...  I was hoping for a bfp for you.
((hugs))