Question

[worried1234799]

So here's what happened. I had sex with a woman that I had just met (inadvisable to be sure). We had vaginal sex which was protected for about 95% of the time (I didn't realize that the condom had fallen off at one point, but I realized it well before ejaculation and put it back on).

After we had finished, it came out that she was married - even worse, to someone that I know! I made her answer a bunch of questions about birth control. So here are some facts:

1. She is not on the pill
2. She said that she had a 28-day cycle and was "very regular"
3. She says her periods are usually 4-6 days long (average 5)
4. The night that we had sex she said that she was worried that she might still be bleeding from her most recent period (she was not, but it signifies that she was probably in day 5, 6 or 7 of her cycle)

The reason that I am worried is that my memory is a little bit hazy right around the time that we finished. I remember ejaculating with a condom on, but have this hazy memory that the condom didn't have as much ejaculate in it as I thought it would have.

Considering all of the above, I went online to all sorts of ovulation calendars/predictors and every one of them seems to be telling me that, given the timing of the encounter, even if I did completely ejaculate inside her vagina with the condom being ineffective, that she can't get pregnant because ovulation is too far off. Can you please give me your professional medical opinion on this?

For obvious reasons, I would prefer to have no further contact with this woman.

[Elaine Brown, MD]

Hi!
The most fertile days of a woman's cycle are days 11-16.  Unfortunately, anytime prior to ovulation and after menstruation ends is a potentially fertile time though.  

If you ARE able to have any contact with this woman, and if you are within 96 hours of the incident, you might wish to encourage her to use emergency contraception (Plan B here is the US). This would somewhat reduce your risk and increase your confidence.

Because she was theoretically early in her cycle, and you did use a condom, you have a lower risk than you might otherwise have.  I wouldn't be able to calculate any odds on the chances though, and I would recommend a paternity test if she did have a child.

I'm sorry you were ensnared by this woman and certainly hope that nothing further comes of the episode.
Hope this helps!
Dr B

[IM43]

I know you are waiting for the doctors reply, but I just had to chime in and ease your worries.  If she telling the truth about her cycle and the timing (we know she not the most honest person in the world), then I would have to say "you have nothing to worry about".  The odds are a gazillion to one.  You would probably have a better chance at winning the lottery than getting this woman pregnant.

I also have to commend you for taking charge of your own fertility by learning about a woman's cycle.  So many men haven't a clue!  Bear in mind that when a woman is really wanting sex, that is also a tip-off that she might be nearing ovulation.  It's true, we do get hornier when we are nearing ovulation (nature's way of making babies).

Now, just as a woman of 44, I have to commend you for using a condom (so many people don't), but I also have to warn you that hopping in the sack with someone you don't know is risky anyway, for various reasons (which I'm sure you already know).  She may tell you she's on the pill when she's not!  She may have herpes or any other various bugs, oral or otherwise, and choose not to tell you!  ( I know personally, both men and women who have done that)

Just be very careful!  :-)