This is a very timely question. Just this month, the American Society of Obstetrics and Gynecology released a Practice Bulletin on use of psychiatric medicines in pregnancy and lactation.
Whenever taking a medication, you always must weigh the risk of taking the medicine, against the benefits.
The increased risk of birth defects on paxil is pretty slim. Some studies have reported a doubling of the risk of heart birth defects in babies when mothers take paxil in the first trimester, but even if these studies are true it must be born in mind that heart defects are uncommon in the first place, so that even if the risk really is doubled, they are still pretty uncommon.
A couple of other larger studies have found no increase in the risk of heart defects, but perhaps a slight increase in the risk of other birth defects of brain, bone, and GI tract. Once again, these are very rare conditions so even if the increased risk is true, the overall absolute risk is pretty small.
Of course, we do not know what long term effects on a baby using such medications would have.
The best advice is that you should not quit cold turkey, for exactly the reasons you have indicated. You should consult with your therapist or primary care MD about whether or not you need to take paxil, or if you do not need to take it how to wean gradually.
I was on Paxil when I was first TTC (3 years ago) when they first found out that it was causing heart defects w/ the baby. I went to the doctors and they switched my perscription to Zoloft and within a couple weeks I cut out all antidepresents. After doing research I would not recomend taking any antidepressents during pregnancy. Way to many risk. It's better to go through the withdrawl symptoms then to have your baby born with heart defects of other issues! I too felt horrible for a few weeks. It was def. worth it!
I was in Paxil with my second pregnancy. at the second month I decide to cut it cold turkey and it was horrible. I felt horrible for 2 weeks or 3 but after that I Was perfect. I felt better than ever and I swear not to touch that medicine again.